AEW Dynamite 3/31/2021
Last week's show is here: https://prowresblog.blogspot.com/2021/03/aew-dynamite-3242021.html
Christian Cage vs Frankie Kazarian
This is Cage's in-ring debut and Kaz is 11-0 in singles this year. Cage's return has been a big flop so far.
They get off to a slow start. Kaz uses the ropes to flip out of a wristlock. Cage gets hit near the ropes and takes a hard fall onto the ramp. Cage slaps Kaz on the ramp and gets back body dropped into the ring. Cage then is thrown into the buckles hard. Cage sits on the top rope and takes a hard fall to the floor. Cage seems to be determined to go back into retirement.
Cage hangs his head over the middle rope and takes a hard lariat over the back of his neck. Kaz then hits an unusual flipping neckbreaker. Cage has been completely dominated so far for no real reason and hits a tornado ddt off the 2nd rope. Cage puts Kaz over the middle rope and stands on his back. Cage then jumps over the top to uppercut him. The crowd is doing a forced "this is awesome" chant because believe me, there is nothing awesome about this so far.
Cage does a dangerous flip out of a backdrop and reverse ddt's Kaz. Cage came off the top with a frogsplash but Kaz moved. Kaz beats down on him more and hits a hard lariat. Kaz then hits a springboard legdrop for 2. Kaz hits a spanish fly off the top on Christian which of course couldn't be the finish. Kaz misses on another springboard legdrop attempt and Cage frogsplashes him for 2.
Kaz goes into the post then Cage hits the unprettier for the win. This was the usual awful AEW opener. It went 17 minutes, which is too long. They kicked out of everything and Christian didn't get that much offense in despite needing to look good here. And make no mistake about it, Christian didn't look good here. He looked blown up, old and tired. I do not expect Christian to last too long this time around if he's going to be doing stuff like this. And a spanish fly for 2 in the opener? Are you kidding me? And why was Christian in the opener?
Darby Allin talked over a video of him and Sting walking. They had someone put on a Matt Hardy mask which was very weird. Darby was saying all the money in the world can't buy respect and Matt will have to earn Darby's respect. Darby said Matt's money doesn't mean anything to him. This was weird, very weird.
Jade Cargill does a promo. She said Red Velvet knew she had it. She said she looks and talks like money and now has made that money. Jade says Red can't be her and she "is that b!tch".
Special Ref: Arn Anderson - Cody Rhodes with Billy Gunn and Dustin Rhodes vs QT Marshall
Some of the Nightmare Academy trainees and products are at ringside. Cody has such an ego that he has a rotating group of people who accompany him at this point.
They shake hands and this is supposed to be an exhibition. QT is wearing the Nightmare Academy logo on his tights which is funny since that is what Cody's neck tattoo is. Cody trips QT early then blocks a hiptoss with an armdrag. Cody wrist throws him and teases stepping on his face but doesn't.
QT pushes Cody and gets a shot in the face, then dropkicks him on the arm. During the break, QT works Cody's injured shoulder and we come back to Cody powerslamming QT. QT takes a shot at Cody, but misses and Cody teases the Cross Rhodes but doesn't do it. QT slaps Cody and misses a crossbody and rolls out.
Cody sits on the rope to help QT back in then QT decks Arn Anderson with a punch. Cody's buddies then all get in the ring and QT realizes his mistake. Some of the Nightmare Academy guys then turn on Cody, Dustin and The Gunns and beat them up. Nick Comoroto is one of them and Aaron Solow is another who uses the chair. Anthony Ogogo, who has been doing announcing on Dark, gets involved. Then Lee Johnson is powerbombed over the top rope onto the ramp, and he lands hard.
QT steps on Lee's face and slams Arn's arm off the rail. Nick Comoroto puts the steel steps on the ramp. Dustin Rhodes is bloody and QT rubs the blood of Dustin on Solow's chest. QT then piledrives Dustin Rhodes on the steps. Ogogo, who is an olympic boxer then punches Cody hard in the gut. Cody's head is put on the steps and QT teases hitting it with a chair but Red Velvet comes out to stop it.
I'm not sure about my thoughts on this angle. I think it's kind of interesting that QT and various students have gone rogue, though QT Marshall is not exactly a guy who would be the head of my heel stable. Ogogo hasn't wrestled, but if they do the boxing gimmick, it might be different. Nick Comoroto getting a real role is good. Solow sucks though. They did do too much with this one with Arn getting nailed and Dustin taking a piledriver on the steps. I have to admit though that I enjoyed Cody getting the crap kicked out of him and that's the only time I can ever say I enjoyed something with QT Marshall in it dating back to the 2010's. If QT's crew went off about how Cody is an egomaniac and he had this coming, they would be mega faces for me.
Ethan Page does a promo. He says he is overlooked then Scorpio Sky cuts in and agrees. They both think everyone else isn't on their level and they said they are taking anything they want, starting Monday. The promo was produced well. This teamed formed on Elevation this week in case you did not see it.
Red Velvet gets interviewed by Dasha. She said she will have his back then gets kicked in the gut by Jade. Red gets thrown into a box and Red says she broke her heel.
Jon Moxley did a promo earlier in the day. He said The Good Brothers pissed him off and said he doesn't know whose side The Young Bucks are on. He complains about various injuries. He says Cezar Bononi looks like a lifeguard, but not if he kills him first. He said someone is getting dropped on their head and will get knocked unconscious. Mox kicks a garbage can on his entrance which I thought was funny.
Jon Moxley vs Cezar Bononi with JD Drake and Ryan Nemeth
JD and Ryan teaming up was odd. Bononi joining them and being with Peter Avalon gives this faction a run for the original Inner Circle's money for the most random faction. Jon and Cezar goes face to face and trade shots.
Jon works the knee, hitting a dragon screw then he puts him a single leg crab. Mox kicks Cezar in the chest and Nemeth pulls his leg near the ropes. Cezar then suplexes him for 2. We go to another picture-in-picture break, which is the 3rd consecutive match interrupted by this. JD lariats Mox on the outside.
Cezar keeps control over the break and we come back. Jon hits a nice punch to the face and Bononi hits his knee on the turnbuckle. Mox spinning forearms Cezar and lariats him. Mox german suplexes him and superplexes him for 2. JD gets on the apron and Nemeth gets in the ring. Mox nails Nemeth but takes a shot from Cezar. Cezar goes for a pump handle and Jon climbs on his back with a choke and wins it. This wasn't bad at all but I don't think Cezar should be taking losses like this. But this is AEW, where the big boys lay.
Team Taz does a promo in the back. Taz says everything is fine and Starks said he had a good time at Dark. He then asks Cage's opinion. Cage said if he was tagged in sooner, they would have won sooner. Taz then gets this back under control and says everything is great.
MJF's gift to The Pinnacle
MJF meets with The Pinnacle in the back. MJF has a gift for them and it is their new Pinnacle stylist. He also said he got them an interior decorator for the room and says we can finally clear the stench from the bathroom. He opens the door and The Inner Circle is there. MJF tries to run and runs into Hager's fist in another door, then everyone brawls in the back. Spears goes hard into a wall and bangs his head off a hard door. Sammy Guevarra then slams the door on Spears. Hager slams Wardlow through a massage table. One of FTR gets thrown into the ice bath and Santana grabs a sharp piece of wood from a chair and stabs him with it. Jericho and MJF brawl inside and MJF gets his head banged off the wall. Jericho puts MJF's head in the toilet, of course and MJF spits out toilet water. MJF's head then goes through a pepsi fridge and Jericho spills champagne on MJF. He then says "this our dressing room, b@tch" and MJF is dragged out. They rip off The Pinnacle's sign on the door to close the segment and slam the door. I really liked this except for the toilet gag. I thought that was a bit silly for this. This was a great and vicious brawl. Should it have been done this way? I don't know, but they had to get The Inner Circle back on TV as they were becoming afterthoughts.
The Young Bucks are interviewed by Alex Marvez. the bucks said they don't want to talk about Omega. Don Callis then jumps in. He kicks out one of the Bucks and Marvez. Don says he loves Omega and says Matt Jackson broke Omega's heart. Don slaps Matt and Matt grabs him by the throat. Don asks if there is anything in Matt at all and calls him pathetic for not going further.
Kenny Omega and The Good Brothers with Don Callis vs Laredo Kid and The Lucha Brothers
The luchadores do an inset promo. It was almost all in spanish. Their translator said that Kenny's luck ran out last week and they are coming for all the titles now. I actually really like the translator.
Omega and crew pose on the ramp and Penta pops up Kid onto them. Rey walks the top rope and moonsaults onto all 3 opponents. Omega takes triple superkicks in a row then at the same time. The luchadores do triple dives onto their opponents. Kid moonsaults off the 1st and 2nd ropes on Omega. Kenny comes back with a nodowa otoshi type of move and Doc hits a nice high kick on Kid.
Kid gets beat up on for a little and takes a big boot from Doc. Doc and crew keep control of Kid over the break. Doc climbs on Omega's back for some reason and Omega walks with him. Karl then joins and they all dogpile on Kid. Kenny doing this spot was dumb. Kid hits a tornado DDT on Doc and both tag out. Penta hits double sling blades on Karl and Omega then Rey rolls in with a cutter. Rey and Penta do a wheelbarrow forward flip onto their opponents, Kid does a slingshot splash on Karl then Penta double stomps him and Rey swantons him for 2. Karl takes a corner train of moves then Rey takes one that ends in a reverse 3 person 3D.
Karl does a flying kick and Rey takes a nasty bump on his head for it. Rey hook kicks Kenny and Penta hits a canadian destroyer on Kenny. Karl then catches Rey with a spinebuster and Kid splashes Karl's back. Kid springboards off the top and gets powerbombed and eats a knee for 2. Kid does a hard tope on Omega on the outside and Penta flips of the 2nd rope chain onto the Good Brothers. Rey walks the ropes into a kick on Kenny's head then Kid spikes Kenny on his head with a michinoku driver for 2. Kid misses a phoenix splash then Omega hits a one winged angel soon after to win.
They did a little much here like usual but it wasn't that bad and this was mostly good. The lucha guys did a bunch of cool moves but not their absolute best stuff. Trios matches are not that hard to do as long as you don't go overboard because everyone can get something in and get out without having to worry about selling too much. It's when they try to do this stuff in singles matches that go 20 minute that they run into problems. Callis rushes in after to celebrate with them.
Moxley appears on the ramp and The Young Bucks join him. Moxley and The Bucks come in and Omega's crew runs.
Britt Baker and Rebel do a promo. Britt tells us about Elevation. Britt says the loss to Rosa didn't count because it was unsanctioned and she said she would continue to put AEW on the map.
As usual, I do not review anything with Nyla Rose in it, nor will I ever.
They run down next week's show.
Jurassic Express talks about Bear Country since they will fight them next week. They tell them to through Luchasaurus around and said they will show Bear country who is on top of the food chain next week. Stunt then talks and literally sounds like a 10 year old as he shows off a King Kong tattoo. There is nothing redeemable about Stunt.
Arcade Anarchy - Miro and Kip Sabian vs Chuck Taylor and Orange Cassidy
They have a bunch of arcade machines around the ring and a wall with prizes. This is TNA level stupid and an embarrassment. If WWE did this, everyone would hate it but it's AEW, so people will pretend to love this.
They go at it from the start. Miro fallaway slams Taylor and OC goes into the whack-a-mole machine. Kid then goes through the back of that machine and gets hit with the mallet. Miro steamrols OC and hits him super hard against the ringpost. Then he slams him hard on the floor. OC then gets thrown into the whack-a-mole machine and hit with the mallet.
A railing gets bridged on another railing and Chuck gets suplexed on it. Miro grabs a chair from the prize wall, which Tony said cost 20,000 tickets. OC gets his head banged hard into a chair put between the top and middle ropes. chuck jumps off a Mortal Kombat machine with a punch on Miro then Miro is thrown into the rails. OC grabs a tash can lid fro mthe prize wall and Chuck grabs a kendo stick from the prize wall. Miro gets beat with both. Tony says "plunder", which is a great tribute to Dusty Rhodes, who used to say it all the time. OC and Chuck grab a rail and lariat Miro with it. Then they dump a table on Miro and put a whack-a-mole machine on him.
Kip dropkicks OC through the wall and german suplexes Chuck on the floor which Chuck doesn't sell much. Chuck grabs a teddy bear filled with legos and the legos are poured out. Tony hilariously says, "You ever stepped on a d@mn lego? It hurts like hell". Chuck gets powerbombed on the legos. OC tornado ddt's Kip on the lego's then hits a spinning beach break/samurai driver for 2. OC hits the orange punch and the ref gets pulled out by Penelope Ford on the count.
Ford kicks OC in the nuts. Then Kris Statlander appears in the claw machine and pushes the plastic cover into Ford's face. Excalibur says, "The alien has emerged from the UFO catcher". Kris then hits a sitting leg hooked michinoku driver from the apron through an air hockey table. OC gets thrown hard onto the floor and Miro chairs OC and Chuck.
Chuck and OC try to crawl away on a ramp and Trent's mom arrives in a van with Trent. Miro takes a 1v3 then goes after Trent's mom in the van. He climbs the car and Trent goes after him. Miro grabs a mini Mortal Kombat machine and throws it at Trent, who moves. Trent throws a chair at him and spears him through a table near the ramp. Chuck then powerslams Kip through a stage or a table designed to look like part of the stage and wins.
Look, if this was a WWF Hardcore Division Brawl from the late 90's, it would have been fun. But this was a comedy hardcore match for a feud where the people involved seemingly hate each other. Yes, it was funny and entertaining, but it wasn't serious and was a long joke. Trent's mom didn't help this either.
Overall thoughts: The opener sucked and the main was goofy hardcore comedy. I don't know what to make of the QT angle but it was funny to watch Cody get beaten up. Mox/Cezar wasn't bad and the trios match was good. The Pinnacle/Inner Circle brawl was good but it was a mixed bag here.
MJF meets with The Pinnacle in the back. MJF has a gift for them and it is their new Pinnacle stylist. He also said he got them an interior decorator for the room and says we can finally clear the stench from the bathroom. He opens the door and The Inner Circle is there. MJF tries to run and runs into Hager's fist in another door, then everyone brawls in the back. Spears goes hard into a wall and bangs his head off a hard door. Sammy Guevarra then slams the door on Spears. Hager slams Wardlow through a massage table. One of FTR gets thrown into the ice bath and Santana grabs a sharp piece of wood from a chair and stabs him with it. Jericho and MJF brawl inside and MJF gets his head banged off the wall. Jericho puts MJF's head in the toilet, of course and MJF spits out toilet water. MJF's head then goes through a pepsi fridge and Jericho spills champagne on MJF. He then says "this our dressing room, b@tch" and MJF is dragged out. They rip off The Pinnacle's sign on the door to close the segment and slam the door. I really liked this except for the toilet gag. I thought that was a bit silly for this. This was a great and vicious brawl. Should it have been done this way? I don't know, but they had to get The Inner Circle back on TV as they were becoming afterthoughts.
The Young Bucks are interviewed by Alex Marvez. the bucks said they don't want to talk about Omega. Don Callis then jumps in. He kicks out one of the Bucks and Marvez. Don says he loves Omega and says Matt Jackson broke Omega's heart. Don slaps Matt and Matt grabs him by the throat. Don asks if there is anything in Matt at all and calls him pathetic for not going further.
Kenny Omega and The Good Brothers with Don Callis vs Laredo Kid and The Lucha Brothers
The luchadores do an inset promo. It was almost all in spanish. Their translator said that Kenny's luck ran out last week and they are coming for all the titles now. I actually really like the translator.
Omega and crew pose on the ramp and Penta pops up Kid onto them. Rey walks the top rope and moonsaults onto all 3 opponents. Omega takes triple superkicks in a row then at the same time. The luchadores do triple dives onto their opponents. Kid moonsaults off the 1st and 2nd ropes on Omega. Kenny comes back with a nodowa otoshi type of move and Doc hits a nice high kick on Kid.
Kid gets beat up on for a little and takes a big boot from Doc. Doc and crew keep control of Kid over the break. Doc climbs on Omega's back for some reason and Omega walks with him. Karl then joins and they all dogpile on Kid. Kenny doing this spot was dumb. Kid hits a tornado DDT on Doc and both tag out. Penta hits double sling blades on Karl and Omega then Rey rolls in with a cutter. Rey and Penta do a wheelbarrow forward flip onto their opponents, Kid does a slingshot splash on Karl then Penta double stomps him and Rey swantons him for 2. Karl takes a corner train of moves then Rey takes one that ends in a reverse 3 person 3D.
Karl does a flying kick and Rey takes a nasty bump on his head for it. Rey hook kicks Kenny and Penta hits a canadian destroyer on Kenny. Karl then catches Rey with a spinebuster and Kid splashes Karl's back. Kid springboards off the top and gets powerbombed and eats a knee for 2. Kid does a hard tope on Omega on the outside and Penta flips of the 2nd rope chain onto the Good Brothers. Rey walks the ropes into a kick on Kenny's head then Kid spikes Kenny on his head with a michinoku driver for 2. Kid misses a phoenix splash then Omega hits a one winged angel soon after to win.
They did a little much here like usual but it wasn't that bad and this was mostly good. The lucha guys did a bunch of cool moves but not their absolute best stuff. Trios matches are not that hard to do as long as you don't go overboard because everyone can get something in and get out without having to worry about selling too much. It's when they try to do this stuff in singles matches that go 20 minute that they run into problems. Callis rushes in after to celebrate with them.
Moxley appears on the ramp and The Young Bucks join him. Moxley and The Bucks come in and Omega's crew runs.
Britt Baker and Rebel do a promo. Britt tells us about Elevation. Britt says the loss to Rosa didn't count because it was unsanctioned and she said she would continue to put AEW on the map.
As usual, I do not review anything with Nyla Rose in it, nor will I ever.
They run down next week's show.
Jurassic Express talks about Bear Country since they will fight them next week. They tell them to through Luchasaurus around and said they will show Bear country who is on top of the food chain next week. Stunt then talks and literally sounds like a 10 year old as he shows off a King Kong tattoo. There is nothing redeemable about Stunt.
Arcade Anarchy - Miro and Kip Sabian vs Chuck Taylor and Orange Cassidy
They have a bunch of arcade machines around the ring and a wall with prizes. This is TNA level stupid and an embarrassment. If WWE did this, everyone would hate it but it's AEW, so people will pretend to love this.
They go at it from the start. Miro fallaway slams Taylor and OC goes into the whack-a-mole machine. Kid then goes through the back of that machine and gets hit with the mallet. Miro steamrols OC and hits him super hard against the ringpost. Then he slams him hard on the floor. OC then gets thrown into the whack-a-mole machine and hit with the mallet.
A railing gets bridged on another railing and Chuck gets suplexed on it. Miro grabs a chair from the prize wall, which Tony said cost 20,000 tickets. OC gets his head banged hard into a chair put between the top and middle ropes. chuck jumps off a Mortal Kombat machine with a punch on Miro then Miro is thrown into the rails. OC grabs a tash can lid fro mthe prize wall and Chuck grabs a kendo stick from the prize wall. Miro gets beat with both. Tony says "plunder", which is a great tribute to Dusty Rhodes, who used to say it all the time. OC and Chuck grab a rail and lariat Miro with it. Then they dump a table on Miro and put a whack-a-mole machine on him.
Kip dropkicks OC through the wall and german suplexes Chuck on the floor which Chuck doesn't sell much. Chuck grabs a teddy bear filled with legos and the legos are poured out. Tony hilariously says, "You ever stepped on a d@mn lego? It hurts like hell". Chuck gets powerbombed on the legos. OC tornado ddt's Kip on the lego's then hits a spinning beach break/samurai driver for 2. OC hits the orange punch and the ref gets pulled out by Penelope Ford on the count.
Ford kicks OC in the nuts. Then Kris Statlander appears in the claw machine and pushes the plastic cover into Ford's face. Excalibur says, "The alien has emerged from the UFO catcher". Kris then hits a sitting leg hooked michinoku driver from the apron through an air hockey table. OC gets thrown hard onto the floor and Miro chairs OC and Chuck.
Chuck and OC try to crawl away on a ramp and Trent's mom arrives in a van with Trent. Miro takes a 1v3 then goes after Trent's mom in the van. He climbs the car and Trent goes after him. Miro grabs a mini Mortal Kombat machine and throws it at Trent, who moves. Trent throws a chair at him and spears him through a table near the ramp. Chuck then powerslams Kip through a stage or a table designed to look like part of the stage and wins.
Look, if this was a WWF Hardcore Division Brawl from the late 90's, it would have been fun. But this was a comedy hardcore match for a feud where the people involved seemingly hate each other. Yes, it was funny and entertaining, but it wasn't serious and was a long joke. Trent's mom didn't help this either.
Overall thoughts: The opener sucked and the main was goofy hardcore comedy. I don't know what to make of the QT angle but it was funny to watch Cody get beaten up. Mox/Cezar wasn't bad and the trios match was good. The Pinnacle/Inner Circle brawl was good but it was a mixed bag here.
No comments :
Post a Comment