Monday, December 31, 2012

WWE Monday Night Raw 12/31/2012 Review

WWE Monday Night Raw 12/31/2012 Review

Last week's show is here:

Miz invited Cena out.
Miz asked Cena about AJ and said Dolph/AJ invited Cena to a New Years Toast. Cena said he would go to it.
The Rhodes Scholars interrupted and Cena mocked Sandow. Cena quotes RG3 and Sandow said, "I assure you, of all the poets I have ever heard of, I have never heard of that man".
Cena made jokes on Cody's mustache. Cena and Miz then challenged Cody and Sandow.

John Cena and The Miz vs The Rhodes Scholars

They said that Sandow wears pink because it promotes good health and life.
Cena pinned Sandow with a AA. Decent match but nothing too special. The focus seemed to be on Cody's mustache as much as anything else. The faces were over here especially the Miz, which was shocking.

Dolph asked to let things go between them and Vickie told Dolph he will fight Sheamus tonight. Then she told him to have a happy new year.

Punk wanted to have his doctor explain his injury tonight. Punk said he wanted to wrestle against Ryback tonight. Vickie then said Ryback should be in action, against The Shield. But, then she said it's not fair. Then she changed her mind.

Tonight is Champion's Choice Night, where the Champions pick their opponents.

Cesaro called out Sgt. Slaughter.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Sgt. Slaughter for the U.S. title
Cesaro won quick with a Neutralizer. Sarge looked pretty decent here as he usually does in his appearances. Cesaro hit another one after the bell.

Daniel Bryan and Kane were in the back.
They needed opponents since the Shield was chosen and they found 3MB and challenged them:

Show challenged Ricardo to a match during the party:
Ricardo then spilled stuff on Show's shoes.

Mae Young came backstage and Eve challenged her tonight.

WWE Tag Titles - Daniel Bryan & Kane vs. Heath Slater & Drew McIntyre
DB got the win after a top rope headbutt. This was alright but definitely too long. The only thing I really liked here was King's bad jokes and Slater holding the middle rope open for DB to fall out of.

CM Punk, Heyman and Punk's doctor came out.
Punk talked about his injuries and called himself a "fighting champion champion".

They showed Punk's knee compared to a real knee and Punk complained about the Ryback match.
Punk's doctor said he can't compete then Vince came out.
Vince didn't buy it and Heyman said that "Punk never weaseled his way out of anything". Vince said next week WWE officials will evaluate Punk instead of Punk's own doctor, and if he passes, he will defend the title in TLC.
Heyman said that Vince is "becoming a flesh peddling promoter" and meant it in a bad way. Vince also said if Punk can't compete next week, Paul Heyman will.

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler
Sheamus won by DQ after The Shield interfered. The match had some nice moves, but the nice moves were met with a slow pace and lots of rest holds. Then the finish sucked so I can't really give this a good rating. They really focused on Sheamus and Big E staring each other down at the end and then they had the Shield hit a triple powerbomb to take Sheamus out.
Kofi was backstage asking about Sheamus when Wade jumped in:
He asked if he was going to choose Hornswoggle or Little Jimmy. He tried to get Kofi to take him on and Kofi said Horny or Jimmy would give up a better fight. Kofi then agreed.

Brad Maddox said he was looking for a job. Heyman told him to get out.

Mae Young was said to be having cramps in the back.
The doctor said Mae Young was pregnant.
"Not again." - Mae Young
Divas title - Eve vs Kaitlyn
Eve wanted to be declared the winner by forfeit because Mae couldn't wrestle. Kaitlyn then came out.
I'm not sure what happened here. I think Eve snuck a win in somehow as her music was playing. It lasted less than a minute though.

Ricardo and ADR met up backstage. Ricardo said he would win in ADR's honor. ADR said he treated him like it dirt, but he's his dirt. ADR said to be a champion, he must look like one and gave him his scarf.

World title - Big Show vs. Ricardo Rodriguez

Ricardo got to drive the car today

Show went for the KO Punch on Ricardo then ADR interfered and kicked Show a bunch of times. Yes, ADR is the face here. Ricardo was great but the finish was dumb.

IC title - Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett

Wade Barrett got the win and the title with the Bull Hammer. The match was alright, but not as good as it should have been. It was short and the commercial killed the flow of it. Raw is just not a good place for good matches. There's no other way to say it.
Mae was still in labor in the back.

Mae Young gave birth to Hornswoggle. Stupid.

Ryback vs The Shield
Is there a reason the cameramen have to shake the camera around like an earthquake during Shield's matches?
Sheamus and Orton jumped in ending this quick. The faces cleared out the Shield quick.

Dolph ripped on the people for not choosing him as Superstar of the Year. He reviewed Cena's year and showed the bad things that happened to Cena. Dolph said that Cena hasn't changed in 10 years, and he's right. He said Cena's time is up and his time is now.  Dolph and AJ made out until Cena came.

Cena called Langston "Mr. T" and said Dolph was right.
Cena then showed stupid photoshops of AJ/Dolph marrying and their kids:
Yep, that's Jamison in the corner.

Cena said the only way Dolph gets a set of nuts is by buying it at the concession stand. Cena brought up Dolph being a caddy and a cheerleader. He then said Dolph had irritable bowel syndrome and said he would enter the Royal Rumble.

Cena then spilled fake poo on them to end the show. The ending fit the show pretty well, as it felt like I got dumped on for 3 hours as well.

Overall thoughts: AWFUL SHOW. One of the worst Raw's I can remember. This was punishment.