Saturday, January 12, 2013

WWF Smackdown 1/13/2000 Review

WWF Smackdown 1/13/2000 Review

"No superstars will be leaving the WWF. Me and Triple H have been handling things in a very fair manner." "But there's only one thing you need to remember, there is only one McMahon running this company and it's me." - Stephanie McMahon
"I make no apologies to you, but I do make apologies to DX. I was wrong. Monday, when you Dog, X-Pac and Billy, when you walked out on me, you showed me tough love and the error in my ways. Tonight, I will show you just how sorry I am." - HHH
He then signed the New Age Outlaws vs Bradshaw, in a No DQ match where if Farooq interferes, the Acolytes don't get a tag title shot at the Rumble. He also made the New Age Outlaws vs Farooq with similar stipulations. Finally, he made HHH/X-Pac vs Big Show and The Rock.

"Mick Foley, what you received on Monday will be just a small taste of what you receive at the Rumble. Your blood will stain New York City." - HHH
He then dared Foley to come out and fake Mankind came out.

"I'm sorry that you had to kick my butt last monday on Raw and I'm sorry that you're the best wrestler I've seen and thought about in all my life. I've been pathetic my whole life and I'm beginning to like it." - Fake Mankind

The Real Mankind then came out:
"Is this what you get off on? Making fun of me?" - Mankind
"Manking is an entertaining son of a gun. Manking is a pretty d*mn good author. Manking is one tough SOB and one hell of a fighter. But Manking is not ready to fight you at the Rumble."| "I think the WWF fans deserve a substitute in that match." - Mankind
"I think you know the guy and I think you know him pretty darn well. His name is Cactus Jack." - Manking
Cactus then said he would take the belt at the Rumble. The whole segment took 22 minutes.

No DQ and No Farooq - The New Age Outlaws vs Bradshaw
Bradshaw throws powder
The pin
The New Age Outlaws got the pin after a chairshot on Bradshaw. This only went a few minutes and wasn't good at all. It was just mostly chairshots.

This may be one of Johnathan Coachman's early appearances.
"They call me Coach." - Coachman|"Coach? Coach as in the coach of the little girl's softball team?"| - The Rock
"Teaming up with The Big Show or Big Bird, just doesn't matter to the Rock as long as the Rock gets to HHH. But seeing as the Big Show is the Rock's partner, what better partner would the Rock want to have?" - The Rock
Too Cool vs Crash Holly, Al Snow and Hardcore Holly
"Coming in at an alleged combined weight of over 800 pounds, from Mobile, Alabama, Crash and Hardcore Holly." - Tony Chimmel
The finish
Rikishi beat Crash Holly with the Rikishi Driver. Nothing special here but it was quick and alright enough. After the match, Al Snow clocked the Holly's with head.
"I cannot depend on anybody. Every single time you let me down. All I want is one partner I can count on. I can't take this anymore." - Al Snow
"There's some sort of transformation there when he gets those shades on. He gets really cool." - Lawler
They did a feature on Cactus Jack.

Gangrel with Luna Vachon vs Test
Test is wearing a face mask
"Get down." - Teddy Long

Test won by DQ after Luna Vachon pulled out Teddy Long. Some decent looking moves here but again it was very short and the screwy finish hurt it.
After the match, Luna ate a pumphandle slam and Gangrel got elbow'd from the top.

"I wanna let bygones be bygones and really let this work between the two of us." - Chyna
Jericho then accepted.

The Hardy Boyz vs The Big Boss Man and Prince Albert
"He really thinks the world of the Big Boss Man. He said he'd give him the hair off his back if he had to." - Lawler
Jeff Hardy rolled up The Big Boss Man after dropkicking Albert into him. Decent enough for a quick match. The finish heated up a little and I liked Jeff flying around. They debuted the name of "The Twist of Fate" around this episode.
Albert and Boss Man got into it after this.
"I'm the only WWF champion not to get a rematch." - Big Show to Lillian Garcia
"Last week, the Rock's supposed to be our spokesperson and he calls us a bunch of jabroni's. Well, I took that personal." - Big Show
"Tori, I have something sorta bad to tell you. Let's talk about it later." - Chyna
Kurt Angle and Steve Blackman vs Edge and Christian
"Helloooo, Blackman. You weren't planning on using weapons like this against my future brother-in-law, were you?" - Val Venis
Edge got the win with a german suplex after Val Venis distracted Steve Blackman on the titantron. Well, the little wrestling they did was good but it was barely a match. Val was supposed to marry Edge's sister, which is what he was referring to.

"All he ever talks about is Tori, Tori, Tori and get this, the stupid fantasy he has with you in a flight attendant's suit with no underwear. How stupid is that?" - Chyna
"If you tell Kane, I know he's gonna wanna beat Chris up. Maybe, it should be a match or something. A non-title one of course." - Chyna
Kane had been beating people up who liked Tori lately, which is the reason for this.

No DQ, No Bradshaw - The New Age Outlaws vs Farooq
The New Age Outlaws won quickly after a Road Dogg knee. All squash here. Bradshaw ran in after.

"You guys seen X-Pac?" - HHH
The Godfather and D'Lo Brown vs The Headbangers
Taz's music and tron went off during the Headbangers intro.
"What's up with you guys? You guys are wearing skirts." - The Godfather
"The problems not with us. It's with you. You're just upset that we look better than your little trolls do." - Mosh
D-Lo Brown got the win with a top rope splash. Not that bad to be honest. The crowd was really into this and D-Lo is usually pretty fun to watch. It was still quick and not special or anything, but maybe the best match on the show at this point.

"I don't give a d*amn what the Rock has to say. I don't like you. All I need you to do is raise your pretty little eyebrow and stay out of my way." - The Big Show
"The Rock is an equal opportunist. HHH you get the back of the Rock's hand, X-Pac, you get the front." -Rock
Kane vs Chris Jericho
Yeah, Co-Intercontinental champion as he shares it with Chyna
"From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing even remotely attractive about Tori to me. No, no, no I don't mean that. You have to be half-retarded to think of her that way. No no, I don't mean you're retarded. She just isn't my type. I like prettier girls. D'oh, I mean she's not that ugly. What I'm trying to say is, I like girls with a little bit more intelligence. Not that she's stupid." - Jericho
"Chyna's loving it." - Lawler
Kane won with a tombstone piledriver. Pretty quick squash match here with the focus on Chyna and Kat enjoying what they caused.
"The Kat just catnapped the Intercontinental title belt." - Cole
"I'm sorry." - HHH | "I don't even wanna hear that." - X-Pac
"We're together, you got to trust me on this." - HHH
Triple H and X-Pac vs The Big Show and The Rock

HHH got the win with a pedigree and a low blow on Rock after Big Show refused to tag Rock. Again, good heat but the match was short and pretty much nothing. After the match, Show chokeslammed Rock.

Overall thoughts: Glad it's over. Nothing really good here minus the Jericho segment and the show felt like it never ended. If you hate HHH, this is from your worst nightmare because he's in every segment.

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