Monday, October 8, 2012

WCW Wrestlewar 1991 Review - Part 1

WCW Wrestlewar 1991 Review

Part 2 is here:
"Tonight we will see Wargames the match beyond and Lex Luger defending his US title against Danny Spivey, along with Doom defending their tag team titles against the Fabulous Freebirds." - Tony Schiavone
"We hot, we live, we on fire tonight in Phoenix for the Wargames!" - Dusty Rhodes
WCW Six Man Tag Team Titles: Big Cat and The State Patrol - Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker and Lt. James Earl Wright vs The Junkyard Dog, Tommy Rich and Ricky Morton

If you recognize the Big Cat it's because he would later become Mr. Hughes.
"You know who JYD look like in this thing? He look like Big George Foreman with that haircut." - Dusty Rhodes
"I heard that they were arresting people at will even though they aren't State Patrol now." - Dusty Rhodes on The State Patrol
The pin
Ricky Morton pinned Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker after The Junkyard Dog hit The Thump on Parker to defend their  titles. The finish was odd. JYD hit his finisher then Big Cat interrupted it. Then Ricky Morton jumped on Parker for the win. Didn't get that one. There was nothing much here at all. Lots of punching and kicking and very little else. They gave this about 10 minutes too for some reason. Rating:*

Look Mom, no belts!
"Mr. Taylor will defeat Z-Man within 15 minutes and 28 seconds." - Ms. Alexandra York
"Terry, do you have a prediction?" - Tony Schiavone
"I predict pain." - Terry Taylor
They piped in chants of "Bobby" here. Sounded so stupid.
Beautiful Bobby Eaton vs Brad Armstrong
"Now Beautiful Bobby's gettin' a little mean on him Jimbo." - Dusty Rhodes
"There's Jason Hervey of ABC's series: The Wonder Years. Big WCW fan." - Jim Ross
"The former WCW TV Champion the Great Muta is here." - Jim Ross
"He'll be facing Sting on the WCW Supershow in Feburary." - Jim Ross
"Am I going with you? I'm gonna get you some sushi and a little sake and we gonna have...well we'll talk about it later. Oh Lord..." - Dusty Rhodes
"In Oklahoma, we call sushi - bait." - Jim Ross
"That's exactly what it is." - Dusty Rhodes

Don't even get me started on how stupid it is that The Great Muta is here and not wrestling.
"What part of the body does the abdominal stretch stretch the most?" - Jim Ross
"I'll tell ya, it's like gettin' up in the mornin' and ya can't get out of bed because you spent all day yesterday plumbin', been all over crawling out there. This will hurt from your neck to your toes." - Dusty Rhodes
"Oh that hit home baby....that hit home." - Dusty Rhodes
The finish
Beautiful Bobby Eaton beat Brad Armstrong with the Alabama Jam. Nothing wrong with this match at all but the heat wasn't really there and it was a tad long. This was just your basic TV match between these two. Decent with a couple of cool moves. Rating:**

"Sumi Kawasaki and Yumi Kitamura, that's one I can't pronounce. I'll just stay with Miss A okay?" - Dusty Rhodes
"I'll just stay with Miss A here because that's the easiest to pronounce because in Texas we don't have anyone named Cookie Yamasaka." - Dusty Rhodes with another all-time great Dustyism
I'd also like to note here that they spelled Itsuki Yamazaki's name wrong.
JWP offer match: Miss A and Miki Handa vs Itsuki Yamazaki and Mami Kitamura
Miss A would go on to be Dynamite Kansai, Itsuki Yamazaki was a member of the Jumping Bomb Angel's of WWF fame and Mami Kitamura would go on to be Leo Kitamura in LLPW.  If you want to see a review of some of their japanese matches, I reviewed a Leo Kitamura match here: and I reviewed a Dynamite Kansai match from much later here:
"That's my girl there Miss A. She's stong and she's ready. She's got a tremendous costume on her and her partner is missing one leg on hers, but they both look good." - Dusty Rhodes
"Lee Scott giving instructions, Lee, I don't think it's going to do you alot of good unless you're bilingual, and I don't think you are." - Jim Ross
"That's Miki Handa there, I think." - Jim Ross - WRONG, it's Mami Kitamura
"Miki Handa just got kicked right there in her Honda." - Dusty Rhodes
"These ladies start training much like the gymnasts in China or the Soviet Union at a very young age in elementary school. They show the aptitude for wrestling and they're brought along and only the best compete." - Jim Ross, where does he get this stuff? Not even a fraction of it is right.
"Can she get the big lady up?" - Jim Ross
"Well, she got a load there." - Dusty Rhodes
"Matter of fact, when we go to Japan, I think I'm gonna try to get you a date with that Miss A there and let her show you the town a bit, you know what I mean." - Dusty Rhodes
"Lord, I don't know if I can...I can't speak Japanese." - Jim Ross
"Miki Handa with a bulldog. I didn't know they bulldogged in Japan."  - Jim Ross who still can't get Mami Kitamura's name right.
"I don't know, she must have been training with my son Dustin over there." - Dusty Rhodes
"That headbutt was right through that cross your heart bra situation there." - Dusty Rhodes
"Wow, listen to those kicks to the face." - Jim Ross
"Maybe I better not get you a date with her." - Dusty Rhodes
"I don't think you need to." - Jim Ross
"Those kicks are submission karate kicks." - Jim Ross
"This is a warrior, brotha." - Dusty Rhodes
"Miss A is bad." - Jim Ross
"I tell ya she's solid. She's a solid ladyyyy." - Dusty Rhodes
"She drove her, she drove her." - Jim Ross
"Non-stop action here. Miss A puttin' some punishment on." - Dusty Rhodes
"Good Golly Miss Molly." - Dusty Rhodes
"Miss A got that shoulder up." - Jim Ross
"That's right, sure she did. She knows I'm out here rootin' for her." - Dusty Rhodes
"I think Miss A was kind of making eyes at you Dust." - Jim Ross
"I know she was." - Dusty Rhodes
Itsuki Yamazaki got the win with a roll-up on Miss A. The crowd loved this one and gave it a standing O. This is definitely something no one here would have ever seen at this point in time minus the Jumping Bomb Angels and they ate it up. This was stiff and it was fast paced, but believe me, it was about a fraction of what these girls could have done. The commentary was insane here. Check out all those quotes on each pic. I'm pretty sure Dusty and Jim had something to drink before this because they lost their minds here. Dusty was absolutely hilarious making moves on Miss A from the booth and Jim Ross was absolutely clueless. Rating:***
"Tonight, I'm gonna go right here in the locker rooms of World Championship Wrestling and get an interview." - Missy Hyatt
"Do you know who you're gonna interview?" - Tony Schiavone
"No, not yet, but I'm looking for a babe." - Missy Hyatt
Nature Boy Buddy Landel vs Dustin Rhodes
"That elbow's hereditary, you got to be born with that." - Dusty Rhodes
"When you back a dog into the corner, you gotta be lucky that it don't buh-buh-buh bite cha." - Dusty Rhodes
The finish
Dustin Rhodes beat Buddy Landel with a bulldog in a quick match. Buddy worked his usual schtick here of being a jerk heel and was good at it. However, Dustin was too much for him as he hit him with a bulldog for the win. Nice match here. Rating:*1/2
"Come on guys, let's see what kind of babe we're going to interview." - Missy Hyatt
"What are you doing in here? What's this heffer doing in here?" - Stan Hansen
"You get your big butt outta here." - Stan Hansen
"Well there was Missy Hyatt and apparently she didn't get the interview she wanted." - Tony Schiavone
"I don't think that was the babe she was looking for." - Jim Ross
The Royal Family - Rip Morgan and Jacko Victory vs The Young Pistols - Steve Armstrong and Tracy Smothers
"We said it was hot here. Twilight double header, we can handle it." - Jim Ross
The finish
Tracy Smothers beat Rip Morgran when Steve Armstrong dropkicked both members of the Royal Family and Smothers pinned Morgan. The finish here was stupid. By dropkicking the Royal Family, Tracy Smothers basically got brainbustered on his head and it wasn't sold. This was a long match with the lights going out for a decent portion of it. I think this was mostly filler if anything. Rating:*1/2
"Tonight, The Freebirds are going to drop Doom like a bad habit." - Diamond Dallas Page
"It's quite obvious why these rednecks call him a peanut head with that little mind." - Diamond Dallas Page on Teddy Long
"I thought you were my friend. I tried to give you the oppurtunity of  a lifetime, but no, you duped me with the Freebirds. " - Teddy Long
"Doom ain't splittin and tonight you're gonna figure out that I'm gonna see you down the road somewhere cause' homie don't play dat, buddy." - Teddy Long
No Disqualification -  Z-Man vs Terry Taylor
Jim Ross explained that we have seen them in some volatile situations which is why this is No DQ.
"She's got alot of data in the computer. I looked at it a little earlier tonight." - Dusty Rhodes
Terry Taylor beat the Z-Man with a roll-up and a grab of the tights. Not a very interesting one. Little hate here for a NO DQ match and it played no role at all. Might as well have been a normal match. Nothing really did it here for me and I thought this one was boring.

Part 2 is here:

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