AEW Dark Episode #82 3/30/2021

AEW Dark Episode #82 3/30/2021

Last week's show is here: https://prowresblog.blogspot.com/2021/03/aew-dark-episode-81-3232021.html

This one is only a little over 90 minutes, which is much appreciated. The title of this week's Dark says 12 matches, but the description says 16 matches.

The Butcher & The Blade with Matt Hardy and Private Party  vs. Milk Chocolate (Brandon Watts & Randy Summers)

Butcher chops Summers to begin. Summers fights back with forearms and Butcher picks him up for a backdrop and pushes him down hard. Summers then gets thrown into a Blade kick.

Both PP members get on the apron to distract Watts and Hardy grabs Watts off the post and flapjacks him on a table. Hardy then pretends he was the one who was attacked. Kassidy chokes Watts as the ref has his back turned. Watts gets beat up for a while then makes a tag after a superkick on Butcher. Summers flurries Blade and does a fisherman's buster/neckbreaker.

Blade takes a bunch of shots and then Bunny gets on the apron. B&B then hit a suplex + powerbomb combo for the win. This had more interference than an Oz Academy match.

Jazmin Allure vs Madi Wrenkowski

The Pricess of /pw/, Mad Madi is here and she might actually win. Madi has some new sparking gold and red gear. Allure is 0-3 this year. Leva Bates is on commentary and Allure gets jumped to start. Madi hits some armdrags.

Allure kicks Madi in the back and dropkicks her in the face.  Madi comes back with a big back elbow, then lariats her on the floor. They get back in and Allure pounds on her and hits an almost blind clothesline.

Madi spinning sideslams her then axe kicks her in the back for the win. I like Madi's side slam and she had a couple of okay looking strikes.

Chaos Project vs Dean Alexander and Justin Law

Luther throws Serp into a tope on Dean to start. Law then slingshots over Luther's back into a back elbow. Serp gets in and takes an armdrag and a hiptoss from Law, then Luther elbow drops his own partner.

Law gets thrown into the rails and lands on the concrete on the outside. Luther powerbombs Law and Serp does a slingshot double stomp on him. Luther throws Serp into a spear on Law then he throws him off the top onto Law, but Law moves.

Dean comes in and high back body drops Serp as he cleans house. Serp goes for something but takes a half-nelson slam down. Luther holds up Dean then Serp meteora's him for the win. Dean didn't look too bad here.

I did not review the Sonny Kiss match here.

Max Caster does a promo, a rare thing on Dark. He talks about Alex Reynolds. He said he beat 10 and said Alex is dealing with a heavyweight. Max said he can beat Hangman Page with one hand tied behind his back. He said his record is impeccable this year and Bowens will have his back.

Dark Order (Evil Uno, Stu Grayson and Colt Cabana) vs Vary Morales, Bill Collier and D3

-1 is still missing here and Colt does -1's laying on the ramp in tribute. Uno shoulders D3 early and atomic drops him, then pokes him in the eye. Bill shouders Uno off and Colt wants a piece of him.

Bill and Stu go face to face and trade chops. Stu does a nice back pedal sell on a punch and gets caught and suplexed on a swinging ddt attempt. Stu comes off the 2nd rope with a corkscrew euro uppercut. Vary does a delay snapmare then springboard assist hurricanrana's Colt.

Uno suplexes Vary then Stu splashes him. Colt hits a hip attacking on Vary and Stu overhead suplexes Vary. Stu hits a nice uranage on Bill then Bill takes an assisted flatliner. Vary is on Stu's shoulders and thrown into an Uno powerbomb. Colt puts D3 on his shoulders and drops him over the top turnbuckle to win. It was a decent squash as the Dark Order has some cool moves.

Adam Priest and KC Navarro vs Jurassic Express(Marko Stunt and Luchasaurus) with Jungle Boy

Taz sings the Jungle Boy song. Marko does some stupid rope walking on the 2nd rope. My hatred for Marko Stunt is well known.

Marko steps on KC's feet and does a lame springboard off the bottom rope. Marko then hits a sinning headscissors on Priest and elbow drops his back from the top rope. Priest overhead belly to belly's Marko and Lucha gets in there and chokeslams both opponents for a stupidly fast win. What a total waste of time.

Vipress vs Diamante

Vipress is 0-2 this year and has a cool look. Vipress hits a  nice snap northern lights. Diamante headstands in the corner and kicks Vipress then dropkicks her in the other corner. They go outside and Vipress is put into the rails.

Diamante misses a back elbow but turns it into a spinning clothesline. Diamante hits a beautiful straight jacket choke + armlock combo to win in another very very short squash.

Jake St. Patrick, Sage Scott and Chandler Hopkins vs Team Taz (Ricky Starks, Brian Cage and Powerhouse Hobbs) with Hook

Jake running hurricarana's Ricky early. Starks avoids Cage's tag to tag in Hobbs. Hobbs powerslams Sage into the corner and puts him in the tree of woe. Hobbs then grabs him by the hair and pounds him down. Hobbs body blocks Hopkins then Hopkins hits his head on the floor when thrown outside. Hook gutwrench suplexes Hopkins on the floor.

Hobbs throws Jake over the top and teases tagging in Cage but tags in Starks instead. Starks hits the roshambo but Cage tagged himself in. Cage then hits the drill claw for the win. This was effective in showing the issues with Team Taz.

Big Swole, Red Velvet and Kilynn King vs Ashley Vox, Delmi Exo and Vertvixen

What kind of name is Delmi Exo? Exo and Vox are sisters who have completely different last names. Excalibur calls Swole one of the most popular wrestlers in AEW and I just LOL'd at that one.

Exo trips over a double team spot and Red finishes that spot with a leg lariat on her. Red hits a punch flurry on Exo in the corner and Exo blows a gutwrench slam. King gets put into the rails by Vert. Exo accidentally lariats her own partner then takes shots by King.

King chases Exo on the outside and gets a lariat from Vert on the floor. Vert and King trade some decent forearms then do the spot where they high kick each other at the same time. Exo takes a nasty uranage from Swole in the corner then Swole comes off the bottom rope to cutter her for 2.

The match breaks down and the sisters double tope King and Red on the outside. Vert then does a bad tope onto everyone. Taz even says if he did a dive, it would just look like that. Swole 1v2's the sisters. Vox drops double knee's on Exo's shoulders and flips onto Swole. Red hits a spin kick on Vert and wins it a little after. This was the usual sloppy work from the women but at least they gave them some time to have a match. The winners dance after until Jade Cargill comes out. Jade is restrained by a ref and Red is restrained by her partners.

Michael Nakazawa vs Mike Magnum

Oh screw this. Nakazawa is wearing work clothing, a lanyard and a headset. Nakazawa talks to someone on the headset while in the ring and Magnum has this awful blonde dyed beard. Nakazawa pinches Mike's nipples.

Magnum gets crotched on the top rope and Nakazawa pushes him on the ropes while he is there. Taz calls it "The Yambag Scratcharooni". Nakazawa chokes Magnum with the headset then it gets stuck in his shirt. Magnum hits a nice ddt and pulls out a paintbrush from somewhere.

Magnum hits a neckbreaker for 2. The ref gets distracted and Nakazawa hits Magnum with a laptop and a horrid tombstone where he humps his face for the win. This was an embarassment to wrestling and worst wishes to whoever booked this.

Baron Black and John Skyler vs Miro and Kip Sabian with Penelope Ford

Miro and Black go face to face on the outside, then Miro nails him and throws him into the rails. Black then gets thrown over the rails. Miro clotheslines Skyler.

Kip is hanging out with Ford in the corner and not paying attention. Skyler euro uppercuts Miro off the 2nd rope but Miro just looks at him. Miro pulls Skyler off the 2nd rope and Saito suplexes him, then he pump kicks him. Miro then beats Skyler with a camel clutch in a bizarre squash.

Max Caster with Anthony Bowens vs Alex Reynolds with John Silver

Max does a rap. He says Alex has more bald spots than QT. Max interrupts his rap to say he hates Alex and to stop looking at him like that.

Alex slams Max's head against the mat then Alex crossbodies him from the top. Reynolds starts selling his arm and is thrown into the buckles shoulder first. Alex is selling the arm and has his head slammed on Max's knee. Max then sat on Alex's back and armlocked him.

Alex fights back with some forearms and a clothesline. Alex does his swinging neckbreaker on Max for 2. Max then comes back with an arm throw and stomps the arm. Alex pops up Max and seemingly low blows him with his knee but the ref doesn't mind it.

Alex misses a moonsault then and Silver interrupts a boomb box shot. Silver talks to the ref and then Max gets a chain shot and a top rope elbow for the win. I'm not real sure why we needed the dirty finish here but at least Max worked the injured arm most of the match here.

Overall thoughts: It's AEW Dark. I don't think I've seen a good one of these yet but at least this was only about 93 minutes. That Michael Nakazawa match was an embarrassment and the women's trios match was super sloppy.