Monday, March 11, 2013

WWE Monday Night Raw 3/11/2013 Results

WWE Monday Night Raw 3/11/2013 Results
Last week's show is here:

Welcome to my WWE Monday Night Raw 3/11/2013 Review.  The only match we know for tonight is The New Age Outlaws vs The Rhodes Scholars. Brock Lesnar will also be accepting Triple H's challenge and it is expected that The Shield vs Sheamus, The Big Show and Randy Orton will be set for Wrestlemania 29, tonight.

Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole are your announcers.

They did a tribute to Paul Bearer.
"He added a lot to us. He was probably the most unique manager in the history of the business." - Vince McMahon
"Rest in Peace." - The Undertaker

The Undertaker did a Paul Bearer tribute. CM Punk interrupted and said he would break the streak.  The Undertaker said nothing and just stared on in disgust.

Big Show was talking to a midget backstage.

Kane tried to get payback on CM Punk during the break. He went through the locker room and tossed Alex Riley when he tried to say something.
"Hey, we're gonna need some help out here." - Bo Dallas

The Big Show vs Seth Rollins

Match lasted seconds before the Shield was ready to jump in and Show threw Rollins at the Shield. The Shield then powerbombed Big Show.

CM Punk went to Vickie and Maddox in the back, wanting to know why Kane came out. Vickie said Punk disrespected Kane and Paul Bearer and signed a No Holds Barred match with CM Punk vs Kane and said, "May God have mercy on your soul". CM Punk said, "No, I am not" in reference to fighting Kane and Vickie didn't care.

They showed Paul Bearer's first appearance on Superstars of Wrestling from 1991:
If you like Superstars of Wrestling and old WWF, I am reviewing WWF Superstars of Wrestling 1990 here:

Daniel Bryan vs Dolph Ziggler

Dolph Ziggler beat Daniel Bryan with the Zig Zag. Good match with nice heat and good work by both men. Nothing wrong with this one at all except that it had commercials. Big E hit a Big Ending after the match.

Brodus Clay and Tensai came out for a match and the match is supposed to be against Fandango.
Fandango said he would come down if Naomi would say his name. He hit on her and said she was sensual and sexy. She didn't and Tensai tried to say his name and failed, so Fandango didn't wrestle.

They showed a clip of The Undertaker and Paul Bearer from Wrestlemania 20. I was there for that one.

The New Age Outlaws vs The Rhodes Scholars
"The following interpretation is brought to you by taste and good form." - Sandow
"Der ner ner ner" - Cody
"Oh, you were not aware of this?" - Sandow
"Der ner ner ner" - Cody
"Your posterior better contact someone at once." - Sandow
"Ladies and gentlemen, young people of all ages, taste and decency proudly presents to you the reunited future tag team champions and best friends. The essence of mustachioed magnificance, the intelluctual savior of the masses, TEAM RHODES SCHOLARS!" - Cody

"And if you're not down with that, we got two words for you - You're Welcome." - Sandow 

Road Dogg said, "Lord have mercy, this one's for you Percy" in reference to Paul Bearer
. The match lasted about a minute until Brock Lesnar came down and beat up The New Age Outlaws.
Heyman got the mic and says Lesnar doesn't play games, but hurts people. He said Lesnar would fight Triple H at Wrestlemania if they can name the stipulations. He said they won't name the stipulations until Triple H signs the contract.

Paul Heyman said, "If you're not down with that, I have two words for you. Brock Lesnar".

Mark Henry vs Kofi Kingston
King said, " I liked Mark Henry better when he was Sexual Chocolate".
Henry won with a WSS catching Kofi in mid-air. This was all squash here but the mid-air catch was awesome.

The Bella twins returned in a segment with Cody Rhodes and Kaitlyn. Cody was hitting on Kaitlyn and trying to ask her out saying, "I mustachio you a question". Kaitlyn then snorted. Sandow said he had smarter dates for them and The Bellas appeared. They said they were returning to the beat the diva's.

Vickie announced Rhodes Scholars vs Randy Orton and Sheamus since their match was cut short.

Ryback vs Heath Slater
Ryback beat Slater in seconds with a Shellshock then hit Drew with one after. Mark Henry watched and then came down and they hit their finishes to Slater. They both stared each other down then and talked trash. That match is going to be bad.

Alberto Del Rio vs Antonio Cesaro
Alberto did an inset saying he was born in Mexico but made in America.

Alberto won with the armbar. The match was good but short and Alberto took a nasty bump near the corner. Loved Cesaro's uppercut as seen above. I really want a match on Main Event between these two.

Josh tried to interview Kane. Kane said nothing but a fan yelled, "Say something".

They showed Kane's first appearance in 1997 during the Shawn Michaels vs Undertaker Hell in a Cell Match. Kane was a scary dude when he first debuted.

Randy Orton and Sheamus vs The Rhodes Scholars
Sheamus beat Damien Sandow with the Brogue Kick. Not a bad match and the Scholars got alot more offense in than expected. I loved Cody's Gordbuster and the face superteam was fine.

On Raw Active, The Shield laid out Orton and Sheamus.

Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel
Jericho showed clips from The Marine 3. I swear, this has been a movie preview show more than anything. I bet we have gotten atleast 7 minutes of movie clips so far, and that is on the short side.
More movie clips with Wade showing some from his movie.
They did impersonations and said really alot. Wade and Jericho argued until Maddox came out.
Brad Maddox said Wade would defend the IC title next week against the winner of The Miz vs Chris Jericho.

Chris Jericho vs The Miz
Decent match with the match being thrown out when Wade got involved. After the match, Wade got beat up by both pretty much ensuring a three way at mania.
They replayed the stupid Ricardo/Alberto impersonations on Zeb Coulter and Jack Swagger.

They had an vignette from 1995 with Paul Bearer and Mr. Fuji in a police detective short.

Jack Swagger vs Sin Cara
Zeb Coulter and Jack Swagger talked about how Sin Cara can't speak English and is a thief.
Swagger won quick with a Patriot Act in a short but fun match. Cara did a nice dive onto the outside. After the match, Swagger wouldn't let go of the ankle and Alberto came in to stop it.

David Otunga gave out Halle Berry's cellphone number after Kane threatened him. Kane called Halle and said he writes her everyday but she doesn't respond. She said that Kane's address was "the depths of hell" and she can't write to there. Halle then said no date and did Kane's fire thing and the posts lit on fire.

They announced Ryback vs Mark Henry for Smackdown.

No Disqualification - CM Punk vs Kane
Kane won with a chokeslam when Taker's gong rang. The match wasn't that special as it was a Kane match. After the match, CM Punk stole The Undertaker's Urn and Taker came out. Taker gave the execution sign to close the show.

Overall thoughts: The show had some cool stuff with Taker, but was a wash other than that and the Kane/Berry segment. Too many movie previews tonight.

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