Wednesday, November 21, 2012

WWF Wrestlemania VI Review

WWF Wrestlemania VI Review

"Upon examining the galaxies in space, images begin to appear. Images of strange and powerful forces. But of all the forces in the universe, the two most powerful - Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior, prepare to explode. Champion vs Champion, Title for Title, it's the Ultimate Challenge! It's Wrestlemania!" - Vince McMahon
"I've been to the Superbowl, I've been to the World Series. I've even been to the Rolling Stones. There's one event though that surpasses them all and that's Wrestlemania!" - Jesse Ventura
"It's the Ultimate Challenge. The Hulkster is putting his title on the line. It's title for title with the Ultimate Warrior putting the Intercontinental Title on the line. It's gonna be something else!" - Gorilla Monsoon
Robert Goulet sings "O Canada".

Koko B. Ware vs Rick The Model Martel
The finish
Rick The Model Martel beat Koko B. Ware with a Boston Crab in 3:51. This was a fast-paced, high flying match. It was short but good but they really didn't get to do too much. It all came to an end for Koko when he tried a blind cross body off the second rope and missed, leaving him open for the Boston Crab

"You wanna talk evacuation? That's fine. That's where Demolition is headed - straight to the treatment plant. And gentlemen, we know how we're going to treat them, don't we?" - Bobby Heenan
"We'll eliminate them." - Andre and Haku
"Eliminate us, eh? Well let me tell you why they call me the Ax, because I can cut down the biggest redwood there is. Even if he is 7 foot 4 and 500lbs. And I'll shear the limbs off that Polynesian Oak. But just before I finish chopping him down, I'm gonna stand back, look at him and yell "TIMBER"." - Demolition Ax
"Well that sounds pretty good, but let me tell you what I'd like to do. I'd like to shove him in the back of a semi-truck tractor trailer, get behind that wheel, push the pedal to the metal and drive him straight off a cliff and watch him SMASH into smitherines." - Demolition Smash

"Gentlemen, this is beginning to sound like a demolition derby." - Sean Mooney
"Now you're catching on. That's exactly what it is everytime we step into the ring. This match is no different." - Demolition Ax
"We're out to demolish and destroy." - Demolition Ax

WWF Tag Team Championship - The Colossal Connection vs Demolition
"He nailed his partner!" - Gorilla Monsoon
"They three-peated!" - Gorilla Monsoon
Demolition beat The Colossal Connection when Demolition hit the Demolition Decapitation on Haku. This was actually a very good match. The heels took control early using their size and dirty tactics until Haku kicked Andre on accident and Demolition took advantage of it. Good work by both teams and Demolition was really into this, especially Smash. The crowd loved Demolition as well. Rating:**3/4

"Bobby Heenan is making a grave mistake. I think he actually slapped Andre the Giant." - Jesse Ventura
"It appears Haku tried to kick him." - Gorilla Monsoon
"Unbelieveable! We're getting double our money's worth here Gorilla!" - Jesse Ventura
"All the scientists have their eyes glued on the seismograph because they know there's going to be an earthquake tonight and the epicenter is going to be here in the middle of the Skydome. The only thing they don't know is what it will read on the Richter scale!" - Jimmy Hart
Hercules vs Earthquake
"This guy has sent to the hospital so far - 28 men." - Gorilla Monsoon
"He busted your nose man. Get him! You're #1!" - Jimmy Hart
Earthquake beat Hercules in 4:52 with the Earthquake sitdown splash. Not that interesting of a match, but hey it's Hercules, and that should be expected. This was just a squash that went longer than it should have. Earthquake hit another sitdown splash after.

"I've thought of returning again to ringside and if I ever do, you're gonna see a far more active Ms. Elizabeth than you ever have before." - Ms. Elizabeth
"Brutus Beefcake, what on earth are you doing?" - Sean Mooney
"I'm just taking a final look at Mr. Perfects record and I just have to say, it's pretty impressive.
"But no matter what this guy's thinking, everybody has flaws. Everybody makes mistakes." - Brutus Beefcake
"After tonight, I think you'll agree I've severed his perfect record with a pretty good clip hahaha." - Brutus Beefcake
Mr. Perfect vs Brutus Beefcake
This one started at the Royal Rumble with Beefcake trying to cut Genius' hair and Perfect getting revenge which led to this.
"I always like Brutus' outfits. It looks like a hand grenade went off in his pocket." - Gorilla Monsoon
Perfect clocks Beefcake with Genius' scroll.
Brutus Beefcake beat Mr. Perfect after he slingshotted Mr. Perfect into the post and pinned him. I was really surprised by the result and the crowd was to. It kind of  came out of nowhere, but WWF kind of gave up on Perfect as a main eventer by this point in time. This alright but not the greatest. It was just missing something. Beefcake almost won it early until the scroll shot and then Perfect took control for a while before the finish. Rating:*

After the match, The Genius grabbed Brutus' scissors and ended up getting a haircut for it.

Bad News Brown vs Rowdy Roddy Piper
"Some folks call me the Hot Rod, but you can also call me the Hot Scott." - Roddy Piper
"You can say I'm a little two-faced, but you know Bad News, you only got one face.."
"that needs some customizing. For instance, let's take a look at those bug eyes of yours."
"Let's not talk about that schnoloza with the left nostril that has hair coming out three yards or so.
"You also got that big mouth. You just don't know which one, the hot rod or the hot scott, is gonna do it." - Roddy Piper
"There ain't much good news with bad news is there Gorilla?" - Jesse
"It's a Michael Jackson glove." - Jesse Ventura
This ended in a double countout. This was really weird. Piper was dancing and acting goofy and all they did was brawl. This was a waste of time and build and I didn't get it at all. The best thing to come out of this was someone in the back putting stuff in Piper's paint so that he couldn't get it off for weeks and had to walk around like a goof, especially through airports. I can't remember who did it though.

Steve Allen did a skit with the Bolsheviks. They were trying to get him to play the Russian anthem and he kept playing other things. Finally, he stopped and said he would play it. Then someone flushed a toilet. Allen sold the toilet flush which was probably the best selling on this show so far. Hey, that's a risk of playing music in the bathroom. Just ask Weird Al Yankovic.

The Hart Foundation vs The Bolsheviks
The Hat Foundation beat the Bolsheviks in about 10 seconds when they did the Hart Attack on Boris Zhukov. Nothing to this at all and I feel bad for Boris and Nikolai. First Steve Allen screws them over then the Hart's pearl harbor them. Blasphemy!

The Barbarian vs Tito Santana
"You know Chico should have sent him some of that food of his. We could have counted on a count out then." - Jesse
"You ever eat one of Chico's enchilada's Gorilla? You're not normal for a week." - Jesse
"The brain saved the Barbarian there." - Gorilla
The finish
The Barbarian beat Tito Santana with a flying clothesline from the top. Tito got more offense than you would expect here and almost got the upset, but Barbarian pulled through in the end. This was more of a match to promote the Barbarian since Heenan just bought him from Mr. Fuji and they were going to do a singles run with him. Pretty good match though believe it or not.

Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire vs Macho King Randy Savage and Sensational Queen Sherri
"This is Sweet Sapphire and this is the Common Man Dusty Rhodes and you ain't gon see me moving in sitting on some throne pretending to be king."
"So Savage, if you and Sherri wanna be crowned, we can get the job done. Because we know what you're missing. You're missing the most important element in royalty. What your missing is what we got. The crown jewel, baby." - Dusty Rhodes
"Wait a minute Gorilla. A combine weight of 460lbs? You're telling me Dusty Rhodes only weighs 200?" - Jesse Ventura"
"565 I might buy, but no 465." - Jesse Ventura
"We know what you're missing in loyalty. We got the crown jewel. The first lady in the wrestling federation - Miss Elizabeth!" - Dusty Rhodes
"You know what Gorilla? Elizabeth must dream that the Macho Man would take her back. Otherwise, why would she show up?" - Jesse Ventura
Elizabeth interferes!
"That's 3 against 2 Moonsoon!" - Jesse
The finish
"That Stunk! That Stunk!" - Jesse Ventura
Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire beat Randy Savage and Sherri when Sapphire pinned Sherri. This was just wild. Savage and Sherri were doing 3 Stooges bumps, Elizabeth interfered, all rules went out the window and the crowd loved it. Hats off to Sherri. She was the glue that held this one together and bumped for 4 people at once. Sherri may be the most underappreciated manager of all time. She was awesome here. Other than that, not so much going on. They were limited in what they could do but they got a pretty good match out of it. And to think, this was technically the semi-main event of Wrestlemania 6.

"Where do you get the nerve to hit Andre the Giant in the face?" - Gene
"I'll tell ya where. You take orders from me. I'm the head of the family. You listen to me, you go to the top. You don't listen to me, you're never heard from again." - Bobby Heenan
Jesse and Gorilla did a small segment with Rona Barrett where she claimed she had some x-rated footage of Jesse. She wanted to show it but Jesse made them cut to Mooney.

"You better get on the phone and call somebody because sufferring builds character."
"I gurantee you the American Dream will feel the wrath of the Macho King and the Sensational Queen. The crown jewel doesn't exist!" - Macho King Randy Savage
"We won these belts for the third time. I didn't think it could get any more pleasant, any more sweet but it is. the first time and the second time we were odds on favorites." - Demolition Ax
"This time there were a few doubters out there. 70,000 odd people witness a match. Some of them didn't think we could do it. We couldn't even celebrate because we got the Hart Foundation. You want a chance at the gold, you come after it, because we're the champions and we're gonna stay the champions." - Demolition Ax

"Ultimate Warrior, when you step into the Skydome, you have to realize, that's my energy and those are my people brother."
"Once I get you on your knees Ultimate Warrior, I'm gonna ask you one question: Do you want to live forever? And if your answer is yes Ultimate Warrior, breathe your last breath into my body. I can save you. My Hulkamaniacs can save you. We can change the darkness that you live in into light." - Hulk Hogan
"You are nothing but a normal. You don't deserve to breathe the same air that I and Hulk Hogan do." - The Ultimate Warrior
"Hulk Hogan, do you want your ideas, your beliefs to live forever? Physically, in this normal world, nobody can live forever. But the ideas and the beliefs that you have given your Hulkamaniacs can live through me Hulk Hogan."
"Hulk Hogan, the darkness I speak of is nothing to fear. It is about accepting any and all challenges at the cost of losing everything, Hulk Hogan." - The Ultimate Warrior
"You have lived Hulk Hogan for the last 5 Wrestlemania's for ieis one beliefe. Now Hulk Hogan, I come to take what you believe in furuevr than you ever could. I come Hulk Hogan, not to destroy the Hulkamaniacs and Hulkamania but to bring the Hulkamaniacs and The Warriors together as one." - The Ultimate Warrior
"When we meet Hulk Hogan, I will look at you and you will realize then that I have come to do no one no harm. But only Hulk Hogan to take what we both believe in to places it shall never have been!" - The Ultimate Warrior
The Rockers vs The Orient Express
"Well that eliminates Jannetty. He's down and out for atleast 5." - Jesse Ventura
The Orient Express beat The Rockers when Marty Jannetty got counted out. Decent match, bad finish. It wasn't as good as their later matches would be but it was better than most of the things on this show so far. The Orient Express just debuted so obviously they didn't want them to lose.

"To be honest Honky, I haven't been this excited since I found out Pee Wee Herman was straight." - Steve Allen
"You remind me of Elvis, that's it, Elvis Costello."  - Steve Allen
"If you'll excuse us we've got to get to practicing so we can be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame." - The Honky Tonk Man
"Great, I'll warn them you're coming." - Steve Allen
Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs Dino Bravo
"This just shows you how stupid Duggan is. Why isn't he carrying a Canadian flag?" - Jesse
"Because he's not Canadian." - Gorilla
"Wait a minute. You're gonna call that a clean win I suppose?" - Jesse Ventura
Jim Duggan pinned Dino Bravo after a 2 by 4 shot. Stupid match here. Who in Canada is gonna cheer an American over a Canadian? Especially if both are rather patriotic. Better yet, Hacksaw CHEATS giving them even more reason not to like him. It also doesn't help that Bravo vs Duggan is a horrible match on paper and was just as bad in Canada. After the match, Earthquake gave the sitdown splash to Duggan twice.

Million Dollar Belt - The Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase vs Jake the Snake Roberts
"You see me and Damien don't forget. We remember all those people you made beg and grubble for your money...You see this time Ted Dibiase, you're gonna be the one who begs. You will be the one that grubbles for the money and how approrpriate." - Jake
"A victim of your own greed, wallowing in the muck of Everest." - Jake Roberts
"Longfellow couldn't have said it better." - Mene Gene Okerlund
Really awesome promo by Jake here explaining the situation of how he got Dibiase's Million Dollar Belt and how now Dibiase is going to have to beg to get it back.
Ted Dibiase beat Jake The Snake Roberts by countout. Bad finish here and the crowd was really odd. They were very quiet then during a resthold did the wote and got totally into it. The cameras even focused on the wave instead of the match. Jake made a comeback around that point and they exploded but Virgil pulled Jake out. Jake hit him and slammed him before being put in the Million Dollar Dream outside and then being pushed into the post for the countout.
"Mary Tyler Moore gets a hundred" - Gorilla
"YEAH, she needs it." - Jesse
"She doesn't need it. You're right." - Gorilla
Jake gave out Ted Dibiase's money afterwards and gave some to Mary Tyler Moore. I can't figure that one out at all.

"The Million Dollar Man has given me and my main man Akeem, thousands of reasons in advance to act as judge, jury and executioner on you, Boss Man." - Slick
"So let me tell you somethin' brotha, you're gonna be one that does hard time." - Slick
"Bossman, there's two things in this world that don't last long. One is dogs that chases cars and number two is law enforcement officers who won't take the money." - Akeem
Akeem vs The Big Boss Man
"What's that? The Million Dollar Man is still at ringside. For what? This is unfair." - Gorilla
"This is unfair? What about when Elizabeth interfered earlier on? When it's 3 on 2 you're cool with that." - Jesse
They had a really quick match where Bossman won with the Bossman Slam. Good thing Dibiase spent so much time beating on him. I didn't like this one as Bossman couldn't do much with Akeem due to his size. Bossman clocked Slick after for no apparent reason.

Sean Mooney talked to the crowd and Mary Tyler Moore after this. No one including Mooney seemed to have any real clue or care, aside from a 5 year old girl who seemed more knowledgeable than Mooney when she almost got the title of "A Hunka Hunka Honky Love" right.

As is well known, DDP drove Honky's pink cadillac to the ring:
"And there goes the gold album. Hasn't even been released yet and it's already gone gold." - Jesse
Jimmy Hart, Rhythm and Blues and The Honkette's then sang:
"We need a hunka hunka honky love." - Honkette's
"Thank you, you've been a beautiful audience." - Honky
I love HTM and I do like his song but the performance was bad. I don't think it was planned that way. Honky went too fast on the chorus and screwed up the whole tempo, the mic's didn't work right leaving the Hammer silenced and there was lots of annoying traffic over the speakers with loud squeel's. They ended up editing this on the official version because it was such a disaster.

"We're not selling anything except Honky Tonk's music, get out of here. Wait a minute, that's the Butch and Luke, The Bushwhackers." - Honky
The Bushwhackers destroyed the guitars gaining revenge for getting hit with the said guitars weeks ago on Superstars.

Superfly Jimmy Snuka vs Ravishing Rick Rude
"I like Jimmy Sunka because he's wearing my wife's underwear." - Steve Allen
Rick Rude beat Jimmy Sunka with the Rude Awakening. These two didn't mesh and thankfully it wasn't too long. Allen went 1 for 5 in decent lines.

The Ultimate Challenge - Hulk Hogan vs The Ultimate Warrior
Title for Title here with the Warrior's Intercontinental title and Hogan's World Title up for grabs.
"My knee's out. I'm gonna try to get back in." - Hulk Hogan
"Front face lock by the Hulkster. What a punishing move that is." - Gorilla
"Absolutely, ask Richard Belzer." - Jesse
Hulk Hogan put a facelock on Belzer during a talk show in the 80's and ended up getting sued for it when Belzer got knocked out and hit his head.

The finish
The Ultimate Warrior beat Hulk Hogan with a splash at 22:51. It was probably about the best match that the two of them could have. There was a ton of heat for everything and they did a good job with it. I really liked the comebacks by both guys and the selling was pretty decent. You could tell though from day one that Warrior was screwed as a champion though. The whole focus after the bell rang was on Hulk. Warrior has said that Hulk did that purposely and Hulk didn't help it for sure just as much as WWF didn't. It seemed that they almost forgot who won it. This was a little longer than it should have been but the crowd liked it.

Overall thoughts: The show was a little too long. There were over 14 matches and half of them probably could have been cut. The bigger thing was that at this point in time, Wrestlemania wasn't the end-all be-all for everything like it is now. They were setting things up for after Wrestlemania even though they did close some storylines. As a whole, the show wasn't that good. I'd say maybe 3 or 4 out of the 14 matches were any good with even those being too short. I'd say skip this one.

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