Sunday, August 25, 2013

WWE Total Divas Episode 5 Review

WWE Total Divas Episode 5 Review

Last week's show is here:

Eva Marie was rubbing bronzer on herself and Jo Jo. They then went to the gym and practiced headlocks before seeing Joe Anoa'i aka Roman Reigns. Eva said he was really hot and "the reason why we wear bronzers".

TJ put a bearhug on TJ in their pool. TJ's mom called and TJ ducked in the water to avoid the call. Nat was excited that Raw was in Calgary because "I'll actually have a match". TJ's mom wants Nat to stay with her at her apartment. TJ's mom apparently said that Nat has to sleep with her in her bed and Nat said she wasn't ready for that.
"Ariane is the sister I never had." - Trinity | "Ariane is the sister I never wanted." - Me

Ariane and Trin met up in Trin's hotel room. Ari wanted to shop and Trin wanted to chill. Trin looks really different wet and without a lot of make up. Trin said "Naomi is a diva, Trinity is me". Ari wanted her to buy a purse and a jacket and she went "ugh".

In Calgary, the girls were backstage. They were filming a backstage segment for the WWE app. The twins said they were going to their nana's house for the weekend and would see their dad. Nikki didn't want to go because he is addicted to alcohol or drugs.

Nat was happy because it was her birthday and she could wrestle in her hometown. She said she taught the Bella's how to wrestle and they taught her how to be a diva. Of course, Natalya lost because she was in her hometown. Win in your hometown for a nice pop? Not in the WWE. Nat then cried.

Nat was begging for TJ to make love to her and he did a shoulder throw to her on the bed. TJ's mom called again.  She asked for them to come in during the weekend, Nat said no and threw her phone on the bed. Nat wasn't happy especially since it was her birthday. TJ left as Nat watched TV.
"Time to get your swag on." - Vincent to Jon Uso

"B*tch, you better work." - Ariane to Trinity

Jon was with our buddy Vincent. Vince told Jon to get his swag on. They were there for some boutique opening. They posed for paparazzi. Trin wasn't in to all of this

John Cena was with Nikki. John Cena has the photo of the Stalin/Churchill/FDR meeting in his house. John was teaching her Chinese. Really. Nikki wanted to learn dirty words instead. Cena encouraged Nikki to go see her dad. I like this Dr. Phil Cena gimmick that John has going on.

Back in Calgary, Nat was with TJ and mom. They were going to have lunch with a surprise visitor, TJ's sister Valerie. Nat said she didn't have time to see everyone. TJ's mom said "Eh". They also said Nat should have kids. Nat was jealous of the mom and Valerie suggested counseling for them.

The twins were in the gym. Nikki was considering seeing her dad and asked for Brie to be there.

At the WWE training facility, Trin and Ari were practicing. They weren't practicing wrestling of course. Don't be silly now. They were trying out new dance moves. Ari was telling Trin to work the camera and said they have been arguing. Ari talked more about working the camera.
"You have Bryan talk to Nana." - Nana Bella

The twins met their grandmother. Naturally, they wanted to eat. They then talked about compost heap's and she didn't like that idea. She said "you have Bryan to talk to nana".

Nat was parking badly. She then went to her friend Jaret's tanning salon. Nat wanted to wear something to tan and Jaret told her she didn't need to wear anything Jaret put spray tan on her, touching her in various area's. Sadly, that's the most action she's going to be getting with TJ around.

The twins and their brother went to their grandfather's grave.They had their sentimental moment and all that.

Back in Calgary, Nat talked to TJ. TJ was in the lobby and didn't say happy birthday on the phone. TJ wasn't wearing the black suit she bought him and said they were going to his sister's for their birthday. Nat was not happy at all. She wanted to go to a nice restaurant and got dressed just for this. Nat said "I'll be here watching Nancy Grace and I'll see you later". She could call Jaret,..

Eva, Trin, Ari and Jo were going go-karting.  Eva said she'd stand on the winner's stand. Ari said she wins everything. This was an indoor track. Trin was in 4th, Jo was in 3rd, Eva was in 2nd and Ari was in 1st. They even got medals. Trin was being a sore loser and fought with Ari. Trin didn't care and Ari bragged about the win. Trin said Ari was acting like "you just won the Daytona 500". They argued more. Trin told Ari to leave.  Trin pushed Ari and Ari piefaced her twice.

Ari called Trin "ghetto". Back in Calgary, Nat met Jaret at a steakhouse. They held hands and got dressed up.  Jaret reserved the bottom floor for her birthday. Amazing how he could do that in hour's notice. Nat complained to Jaret. Jaret asked her if this is what she wanted. Jaret said she wants to be with someone who would reserve a restaurant for her. Jaret said this was his last chance to say something and he said she shouldn't marry TJ. Jaret said he had feelings for Nat. TJ is probably cool with this to be honest.

The Bella's had a family gathering. Jon Bella, the dad, hugged one of them and JJ Bella(the brother). Nikki wouldn't hug him. There's 3 Jon's/John's on this show now.

 Nikki hugged her dad and wasn't happy. She told her dad he was selfish. Nikki said her dad leaving at 15 affected her. She said she looked at her grandfather as her dad. She was really upset about her grandfather dying. The dad said he didn't have an excuse but was sorry and hated himself for it. He wanted to know how to help this. Nikki said it takes time and he thanked them for opening up. He said he would try harder to make this better.

Jane was giving the girls details on what to do. Trin didn't want to wrestle tonight, due to not wanting to work with Ariane. Jane and Mark wanted to have a chat. She said she wanted to start over by herself. They called each other unprofessional and yelled. Jane said it was up to creative and would set up a meeting with Stephanie McMahon. More arguing ensued. Ari talked to the girls about it and Nat said it was "not good" that Stephanie McMahon was now getting involved. Nat may have bad taste in men, but she knows how WWE works.

Steph and Jane met up with Trin and Ari. Trin wanted to go solo. Steph wanted to get them on the same page. Ari said this all goes back to the go karts. Ari said Trin pushed her first. Steph said this was "not acceptable, ever". Steph said they are WWE diva's in public and Steph said, "I will not accept unprofessionalism". Steph said they would have singles matches. Good news for Trin, bad news for Ari.

Trin met up with Sandra the WWE seamstress. She ran from Sandra and Sandra said "your gers gonna be affected by your attitude".  Sandra is the best character on this show. Nikki said "I get so turned on watching John wrestle". They talked about DB and called him a wildebeast. Nikki said she wanted to bite John Cena's big ole butt.

We got Naomi vs Alicia Fox.  Nat said Trin was doing good but looked winded. Trin did a diving splash, kneeing Alicia and landing on her face. Nat was not impressed. 

Ariane said this was her first singles match ever. Trin said "it's not good at all, she's fumbling moves". She told her to slow it down and said it was hard to watch her struggle. Trin then apologized to her and Ariane and Trin cried. They hugged, saying it's hard to work without each other. Trin seemed to be doing fine without her. They said they wanted to go back to Mark and Jane to reform their team.

Next week:
- Nattie's bachelorette party
- Jo Jo hooks up with Justin Gabriel
- Vincent gets drunk and makes a jerk of himself - I can't wait for this as he did a good job of it when he was sober.

Overall thoughts: I didn't like this one that much. It was too sappy, but not as trashy as other episodes. The ending was pretty lame too.

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