Gorilla talked about WM3 and they talked about the visit to Camp Andre.
"Andre is more powerful now than I have ever seen him in his entire career. He's in better condition than I've ever seen him. In fact, Andre the Giant is the most dangerous individual in this point in time than anyone I can think of in the world of sports." - Gorilla
Bobby was pleased.
Sika vs Moondog Spot
I'm liking this trend of freakshow matches. I'm interested to see who the face will be here.
"I hope every kid that's involved in amateur athletics watches this match. You're gonna see some great wrestling here. Holds, counterholds, moves, go-behind's, switches..." - Heenan | "Are you trying to insinuate that Spotty or Sika can't do that?" - Gorilla
"What was he looking for?..Maybe he was looking for Rex or a milkbone or something." - Gorilla | "Fireplug, fire hydrant or something." - Heenan
"He says he's in communication with the late, great Grand Wizard or something." - Gorilla on The Wizard | "I'll have to go by that if that's what he says." - Heenan
"Maybe he just shed his coat, you don't know." - Heenan on why Spot looks thinner
"Sika from the Isle of Samoa...who I still believe has some cannibalistic tendencies." - Gorilla
Sika won with a rough looking Samoan drop. This wasn't good. Sika was just straight boring and offered nothing at all. They didn't really decide who was the face or heel until later in the match when Spot made his comeback and honestly, it was pretty good. Spot showed some fire and threw some nice shots. Spot was in the best shape I've seen him in and I always like it when Gorilla refers to Spot as "Spotty". The crowd chanted boring all throughout this and even got in a "Sika sucks" chant.
I had some buffering after this match so I skipped ahead a few minutes.
Ron Bass vs Special Delivery Jones
"You know Blackjack Mulligan is trying to copy this guy. He's trying to live off of his reputation." - Heenan
"I like to wrestle a guy like SD Jones. I like people in my family to wrestle a guy like SD Jones because when you beat him, you beat somebody." - Heenan
Ron Bass won with a short flying elbow ala Blackjack Mulligan from the week before. Nothing was wrong with this but it was just pretty average. Jones looked good but didn't really capture my interest.
"You know, Mulligan's got a saying. It'll take a good man to beat him, but it won't take him long." - Heenan | "That's not one of his sayings." - Gorilla
Heenan asked Gorilla what he noticed about Andre during the training session and Gorilla wouldn't say. He told Heenan he should know but Heenan says he just deals with the business end of things.
They showed the Wrestlemania 3 contract signing:
Tunney called Andre "Mr. Roussimoff". Heenan ripped on Hogan before the signing.
"You're both sick. If you wanted a title shot, all you had to do was ask me. I would have given you anything." - Hulk Hogan
"Wrestlemania 3 will be your last lesson." - Andre the Giant
Heenan wanted a new belt made:
"The belt they have now is made for Hulk Hogan. So it doesn't fit Andre the Giant. It was made for somebody smaller. The new belt is on the way." - Heenan
We got a Wrestlemania III report with Mean Gene:
Jake the Snake Roberts vs The Honky Tonk Man was added and they announced Alice Cooper would be with Jake the Snake:
They ran down the rest of the card. They showed a meeting between Bob Uecker and Bobby Heenan.
"One of the reasons that I wanted to do Wrestlemania III is so that I could be like Bobby Heenan. I like what you wear." - Bob Uecker
Heenan let Uecker try on his jacket and said it would be the only time he got to wear something with Bob on it.
Jesse was with Mary Hart:
"Jesse, when you talk to me late at night on the phone, it's so much softer." - Mary Hart | "Don't let them know that." - Jesse Ventura
Visa and Mastercared accepted.
Heenan said Andre wanted to wear the belt around his waist, which is why a new belt was needed.
Corporal Kirchner vs Johnny K-9
"He's trying to buy fans." - Heenan on why Corporal Kirchner was waving the Canadian flag
Slick was the manager here for Johnny K-9 surprisingly. Also surprisingly, K-9 was billed from Samoa. Slick said Butch Reed had the flu so Johnny K-9 is his replacement. Kirchner told Slick to take his place since he gave Reed the night off.
"He's aggressive, he's a fighting man." - Heenan on K-9 | "He's a fruitcake." - Gorilla | "He doesn't have both oars in the water." - Gorilla | "But he's got both feet in the ring." - Heenan
Heenan said "K-9 makes a couple bad mistakes in his wrestling". Gorilla said "Yeah, like putting on his wrestling boots". I'm loving Gorilla and Heenan switching roles here.
Gorilla said Hulk Hogan trained Corporal Kirchner.
"He'd be getting a disqualification if I were refereeing. Where is Danny Davis when you need him? " - Heenan
Danny Davis was recently suspended for life due to costing the British Bulldogs the tag titles and has been a big talking point on this show.
Corporal Kirchner won with the Samoan Drop which he called the Parachute Drop. This was pretty bad. The crowd really got into Kirchner but he offered nothing and K-9 was much worse. He was clumsy and was a total dork. This also happened to go on forever which didn't help it. After the match, Heenan said, "I believe K-9 was ahead on points".
Greg Valentine, Brutus Beefcake and Adrian Adonis vs The Can-Am Connection and Lanny Poffo
Lanny Poffo had a poem:
Jimmy Hart and Adrian are planning a surprise,
with a pair of scissors and a sleeper hold.
If Piper leaves for Hollywood with no hair on his head,
they figure his career is going to fold.
They have conjured up a scheme to ruin his happy day,
and make it hard to get an acting job.
I sure hope his plans aren't thwarted March the 29th,
because Adonis is a fat, disgusting slob.
"I find Poffo's poem absurd, because I'm a star and I'm bald." - Jesse
Martel got the win over Beefcake. The finish here was stupid. Adrian grabbed the scissors from Jimmy Hart and "thought" he was cutting Martel's hair. Sorry, there's no believability in that one at all. It was completely stupid and nonsensical, which is a shame, since the match was actually good up to that point.
"Adrian Adonis is indeed a dummy. A big dummy." - Gorilla
King Kong Bundy vs Billy Jack Haynes
"He can rear back, crack his head as hard as he can and maybe crack the shin of Bundy." - Heenan on The Haiti Kid | "Puleasee."- Gorilla
"Billy Jerk Haynes.He's got a temper, Billy Jerk, and he gets mad.." - Bobby | "Not very often does he lose his cool." - Gorilla | "Only when he looks in the mirror and sees what he paid for that ridiculous hat." - Bobby
Bundymania runnin' wild!
"King Kong Bundy's a big critter.." - Hillbilly Jim | "What if he comes crashing in on me?" - Little Beaver | "Or Me?" - The Haiti Kid | "Don't you worry little fellas, I'm gonna make sure that he don't do that." - Hillbilly Jim
Haynes won by DQ in a very short match when Heenan interfered.
Haynes went after Heenan and Hercules made the save.
"You suspend me, you don't have a champion to do business with." - Heenan
"He will be at Wrestlemania III. He won't be in the ring but he will be one of the first people to step in and congratulate the new world's champion." - Heenan on Orndorff
Pedro Morales vs Paul Orndorff
Orndorff came out to Real American.
Paul Orndorff beat Pedro Morales in a quick and nothing match. Paul beat on Pedro for most of this then put his foot on the rope for the pin. The Killer Bees vs The Hart Foundation
The Killer Bees got the win with a sunset flip from the top. They put the masks on near the end to help get the advantage. The match was short but fine. Nothing too special with mostly punches.
"He did the same thing all British people do in the heat of the battle. He quit." - Heenan on Dynamite Kid's injury in the tag title match
Overall thoughts: Not a good one here. The opener was bad, Corporal Kirchner vs Johnny K-9 was bad and the Adonis angle was really awful.
