Sunday, September 8, 2013

WWE Total Divas Episode 7 Review

WWE Total Divas Episode 7 Review
I'm still having issues with the blog here, so pics and gifs will be limited.

Eva was talking and driving. Someone called and told her that she will be doing a photo spread for Maxim.

Vincent, Ariane's BF and The World's Most Dangerous Man, was talking to Ariane in the bathroom. He wanted to go to something and Ariane told him no. She was still mad about getting a drink spilled on her. Get over it. She said Vincent has been getting on her last nerve and she closed a door on him. He came back in and she screamed.

At the Cena house, Cena was getting a massage or something from two dudes. Nikki of course wanted in on this. One of the dudes was grabbing her hip and butt hard while Cena watched. Nikki told Cena she is now flexible, hinting at something naughty of course, because that's what Nikki is obsessed with.

Jo Jo had her hair crimped as she met with Eva, Ariane and Nat. Eva told the girls the good news. Nat says Eva has an "it factor". Yeah, I'd like to see "it" go away. Jo was jealous and said she needed to find a way to standout.

Jo was trying to sing the national anthem in her apartment near Eva. Jo said this is her passion, so why doesn't she go into singing? She said she wants to sing the anthem before a Raw and was going to ask Jane and Mark.

The girls met for lunch, the second time they ate in an 8 minute episode. Eva said she was going to be the featured model and Nikki took it as worrysome. Ari said Vince wants to have his parents meet hers. Ari didn't like this as it meant they were taking the next step and getting ready for marriage. Um, no? Most people meet their S.O.'s parents multiple times and don't get married.

The Bella's didn't think Ari loved Vince much. They showed some botched up trios diva's match where Nikki Bella got injured falling off the apron. The Bella's were in towels and Nikki's shin was messed up. She said this was from a previous soccer injury where she wore a cast.. Nikki didn't want to see the doctor and Brie said she must since they are a "brand" together. I prefer to put it as these two are even more useless without each other.

Eva was at the shoot and wanted to "kill it".  They took some shots of her from the pool with her hair looking really fake and honestly making her look like a clown in a bikini with the red hair and white pancake make-up.

Nikki brought up her shin bothering her to Cena. Cena said the first thing he does is get things checked when they feel wrong. Nikki said her career won't survive if she needs to take a year off.

Ari was taking her dog to get a pedicure with pink nails. Vince wanted Ari to meet his dad. She said "I don't even have time to scratch my ass" but yet she has time to get her dog A PEDICURE. Ridiculous. Ass scratching must be a more complex task than I thought.

Eva and Jo talked on the couch. Jo was jealous and trying to fake it. Eva said she didn't have time for her "childish games".

"Trainer Jon" Uso was training Jo and Trinity. Jon told them to talk and work out while Jo talked about singing. Trin said she'd be terrified to sing the anthem. Trin offered to be there with her, probably to get in on those DVD royalties. Trin then offered to have Jo sing their theme song a long with Ariane.  Trin said they would be like Destiny's Child.

Nikki went to get a bone scan and she knew it wasn't going to be good news. She was mad at herself for not taking care of this earlier. Nikki wanted to wait until after Summerslam. Brie said if Nikki goes off TV, she probably will too.

Nattie talked about "taking a piss" with Eva. Eva said she was getting tired of being around Jo 24/7. Eva said they need to focus on wrestling and not singing. Eva seems to be focusing on modeling. Eva then admitted to working at Hooters.
Trin and Jo went to go re-record their theme song. Trin's dad recorded a beat and Jo/Trin sang. It sounded awful.

Vincent took Ariane to meet his dad, Andy. He speaks Armenian and wanted to put Armenian bread on their shoulder at a future wedding between them. Andy grilled her about leaving Vincent alone and brought up giving him grand kids. Ariane said she didn't want kids for 7 years. Andy explained how Vincent needs to be engaged and have responsibilities. I can't see Vincent attending PTA meetings and  I can't see Ariane changing diapers.

Jo talked to Jane on the phone and heard the song. Jane thought the song was awesome. She must have heard a different song than Idid

Ariane and Vincent were driving. Vince was telling her not to make out with the dog. Vincent said he had a surprise. He took her to a jewelry store. Vincent said he wanted to buy her a diamond ring and Ariane wasn't thrilled. Vince said he was getting pressured to marry her and asked her about taking the next step. Ariane cried and left, saying it was too much pressure. Vincent chased her out and she said she needs time. She said she had something to tell him and she wants to take a break and take space. She cried and said she's just not there yet. Vincent said he isn't going anywhere.

In the teaser, Nikki said she had a half-broken shin and may never be able to wrestle again. Yes, because a half-broken shin is a career ending injury. I think it's funny how they play the sympathy card with this but when Sin Cara breaks a finger, he gets heat. Ah, WWE double standards.

Nikki went to the WWE doctors. Dr. Hiney and Dr. Isaac Yankem were not there. Doc said she had a stress fracture and said she needed 12 weeks to heal total, with 4 weeks off the feet, 4 with crutches and 4 without crutches.

The Dactyl's and Jo Jo were practicing their dance and song routine. I watched their performance when it happened and it was absolutely awful and I couldn't believe they let them do this. Vince walked by and told them he was looking forward to hearing them sing. Trin said she was sick as a dog and had a "horrible bark".

Trin said they weren't ready and she was right. Jo was nervous and Trin coughed. Eva and Brie reminded them not to screw up. They sang and it was awful. They were totally off key and they showed the crowd holding their ears. Jane's jaw dropped and Eva was laughing and enjoying this. She said Jo Jo gets this for not supporting her. Nat's face was just awesome here as she was absolutely horrified with what she saw. I'm going to give WWE credit for this one as I totally thought they would spin it as some huge success.

Eva and Brie hugged the Dactyl's. Trin said "it wasn't the best but it was mediocre". Ari said, "I guess this wasn't a complete train wreck, or was it?". Jo said "This was an epic fail".

Mark kissed the twins. I wonder if he does this with Khali and Kane. Mark said they had doubts on what they could do with the twins. Then fire the creative team. It's their job to figure it out. Mark said Nikki can't go out there and limp. Mark told her to go home and made the company look great here saying you need to go if you get hurt. Nikki said he wrestling career was over here.
TJ Wilson as Vito Corleone
Trent Baretta and Hornswoggle at the wedding

Clips from next week with Eva and Jo arguing, TJ and Nat arguing at a wedding, Ariane getting sent to a hospital.

Overall thoughts: Eh. I'm glad it's over with. Not the worst ep, not the best ep, but it was closer to the worst than the best. Mark made WWE look like a bunch of weasel's though.

1 comment :

  1. reaction to total divas :

    but seriously, bro, your review was awesome and had me rolling like 15 times or something XD

    now I know who's Dr. Isaac Yankem .. but who's Dr. Hiney ?

    also, is that christian behind hornswoggle ?! and is that curt hawkins infront of trent barreta ?!