"If you would have told me a year ago that you would be managing Andre the Giant, I would have called you a liar." - Gorilla
The talk is on for Wrestlemania 3 with Heenan taking credit for bringing in the various celebrities.
Heenan said he wanted Hogan's signature in ink in order to make sure he would indeed fight Andre.
Kamala vs George The Animal Steele
I love Kamala but I don't see any good coming out of this.
"If you had these three in the dating game, I'd feel sorry for the girl." - Johnny V
"Claims to be a direct contact of The Grand Wizard who he claims to be somewhere around 40,000 feet." - Gorilla Monsoon on The Wizard
"Only a mother could love that face." - Johnny V
"They're looking at each other like King Kong looking at Godzilla." - Johnny V
"Grows everywhere but on top." - Gorilla | "Well, grass doesn't grow on a busy street." - Johnny V
"Look at the cranium of George Steele. Tell me that doesn't look like a throwback to the Cro-Magnon man." - Gorilla
"Beating the war drum or ringing the dinner bell...one of the two." - Gorilla on Kamala's belly slapping
"If I did not see it, I wouldn't believe it Monsoon." - Johnny V
"He's cold out there like a Jewish salami. He's out." - Johnny V
Kamala won in a quick one with a whip to the throat and a flying splash. Johnny V was hilarious here and even though they didn't do much, it was entertaining. Steele tramped on Kamala's feet and touched the stars on his chest, even tasting one before scaring Kamala off. Kamala splashed him after.
"My first pick would have been Nikolai Volkoff." - Heenan on who should sing the national anthem at WM3
Terry Gibbs vs Jose Luis Rivera
This one even seems too low for PTW to air.
"Jose Luis Rivera on a win streak here in the World Wrestling Federation." - Gorilla | "HAH" - Me
"But then you got guys like myself with a natural type of body and you don't have to go." - Johnny V on going to the gym
Johnny V foreshadowed bringing in Demolition here and Gorilla mentioned them as being strange invdividuals.
Rivera won with a sunset flip in a bad, dull and boring match. Monsoon hinted at the crowd not caring saying they were "hushed in anticipation".
"They are just our resident mascots. They're not members of our family, they're kind of like a pet." - Heenan on Lord Littlebrook and Little Tokyo | "Like Koko B. Ware, he's got a bird and I've got two midgets." - Heenan
"...I'm sure Bundy avalanching those two midgets in the corner." - Heenan | "You'd love to see something like that, wouldn't you?" - Gorilla | "Well, everybody in the first 8 rows better wear a raincoat." - Heenan
The Snake Pit with Jake The Snake Roberts and The Honky Tonk Man
"The Honky Tonk Man, what kind of name is that?" - Jake Roberts
"My momma named me the Honky Tonk Man cuz I was born on a pool table in Jones Bar & Grille in Memphis, Tennessee." - The Honky Tonk Man
Honk came to sing.
"You gonna sing? Well, will you sing for him?" - Jake
"I'm gonna sing my song that I put out that Elvis Presley imitated. He tried to take it away from the Honky Tonk Man. It's called "That's Alright Honky Tonk Mama". - Honky | "Alright, I want you to do this. I want you to make a complete idiot of yourself and sing something." - Jake
Jake scared them off with the snake behind the set, or so he thought.
This was an infamous angle. If you don't know, someone forgot to gimmick the guitar before the shot, causing Jake to take a full guitar to the head. Guitar's are usually made with pretty hard wood and this ended up causing Jake to get a neck injury. Honky claims that he didn't know it was gimmicked but Jake and Jimmy Hart thought otherwise.
"Damien didn't help him much there, did he?" - Heenan
We had a Wrestlemania III report.
They ran down the card and had fans and wrestlers make picks for the main.
Billy Jack Haynes vs King Harley Race
Bruno and Jesse only were on commentary here.
"How do you trust anybody with a nose like Dick Woehrle?" - Jesse
Billy Jack won by DQ when Heenan jumped in. The match wasn't that good. Race tried his best but BJ was a black hole of charisma here and the crowd wasn't into it at all. Race definitely bumped well here. Jesse and Bruno weren't bad on commentary at all.
Heenan said Race's hair was pulled on the full nelson and he saw fit to do something about it.
Cowboy Lang vs Lord Littlebrook
"Well, we know who Alfred is cheering on in this match." - Gorilla
"You know something about Lord Littlebrook? He happens to be the illegitimate child of Lord Alfred Hayes. I have documented proof on that." - Bobby Heenan
"You know this midget match? It's a short match. Haha." - Bobby Heenan
"All the sins of humanity written upon that one face." - Alfred
Cowboy Lang beat Lord Littlebrook with the rolling leg cradle. The match wasn't bad. Littlebrook was a funny heel and the usual midget spots were okay since I hadn't seen them in a while. The work was good up until the comedy. Littlebrook was really noisy here in selling and I totally laughed at Lang shooting a hocker on the camera.
"Probably pound for pound the toughest midget ever. Distant cousin to Chief Jay Strongbow." - Heenan on Little Beaver
"I know one thing about Bob Uecker. He was responsible for the St. Louis Cardinal team that he played on for winning the pennant in 1967. Yes, the last month he had hepititus." - Heenan
Jimmy Jack Funk vs Blackjack Mulligan
"Oh sure, the man's 6 foot 10 and 350 pounds and he needs spurs?" - Ventura
Blackjack Mulligan won in quick fashion with a rough looking flying back elbow. Total squash here with JJ Funk doing some nice bumps.
"I will remove all doubt, yes I will retire." - Piper
Piper said he won't retire until he beats Adrian Adonis at WM 3.
"May it be a half an hour in heaven before the devil knows you're dead." - Piper
"Who cares what that miserable bag pipe salesman does?" - Heenan
"Did you hear what happened to The Islanders? They thought they were going to Wrestlemania and sat over 8 hours in a Pontiac waiting for something to happen." - Heenan
The Islanders vs Al Navarro and Joe Mirto
"I think they need some kind of guidance." - Gorilla | "I'm too busy."- Heenan | "I'm not talking about your kind of guidance." - Gorilla
A fan jumped in the ring
Tama got the win with a nice splash from the top. He got mad air on it. I also loved Haku's jumping side kick right to the mouth.
"I ordered some catering while I watch you fumble around. Some bimbo from the back room brings me a pickle and a cheese sandwich." - Heenan
WWF Title - Hulk Hogan vs King Kong Bundy
Hulk nails a fan!
Bundymania runnin' wild!
Hulk Hogan beat King Kong Bundy with a body slam. I thought this was a pretty good match to be honest. The crowd was super hot and they moved at a really good pace. Yes, it had the usual Hulk schtick but it was pretty well worked and they timed it right. Jesse argued that Bundy got his shoulder up before the three. Rating:***
Heenan and Gorilla talked about WM 3 and Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant, saying it is the biggest match of all time. Heenan gave Gorilla a first class ticket to the secret training location of Andre the Giant to close the show.
Overall thoughts: I enjoyed the second half of this. The midgets were good, the Islanders were good and the main was good. Bobby Heenan had some hilarious lines and really helped the show along. Check this one out.
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