Sunday, August 11, 2013

WWE Total Divas Episode 3 Review

WWE Total Divas Episode 3 Review

Last week's show is here:

The Bella's are driving, ripping on tree cutters. Nikki said she didn't have time to do homework as a kid as she had soccer. The twins said they have their own language.

DB and the one Bella were in a hotel packing. Brie missed her dog, Josie. Brie said they are moving to Phoenix so Brie can see her dog more. On the scale of bad moving decisions, that's high up there. Brie didn't tell Nikki she was moving yet.
Jon Uso bites Trinity's butt

Trinity didn't wear her ring with Jon and Jon was mad.

We went to the NXT dojo where Eva said Jo Jo was amazing in-ring. I'll be the judge of that. Sounds like Eva and Ariane have similar tastes in bad wrestling.
Jo Jo gets a concussion and Sara Del Rey makes an appearance

Jo Jo then took a bodyslam and hit her head on the mat. She said she was dizzy and she got a concussion.

Jon and Trinty were eating guacamole. Jon was mad about the ring thing. Trinity said she took it off because the divas are supposed to be single. Jon didn't like this and Trinity didn't get it. Trin said "it's official like a referee with a whistle" when they get married.

Brie was worried about telling Nikki about the Phoenix move. Nikki was "working the booty at the gym. She said she stares at herself in the mirror when working out to motivate her. Brie then told her about the move. Nikki said it "was a little extreme" and told her to get a dog sitter. Brie said it wasn't good enough and Nikki said "this is totally all Bryan". Brie was worried about getting stuck with the mail and "the Ebay stuff".Yeah, because that would just be so hard to deal with.

Nikki was on a meeting for some movie she was going to be doing. Brie wasn't there as she said she was too busy with packing. Nikki was angered by this and I am too. Nikki blamed Bryan for this. The producers didn't like this and said "we'll have to make some extra time on sets". The producers said they would have to do their own stunts.

Jo Jo's boyfriend, Sebastian, arrived at her hotel. He came to see her due to the concussion. Jo Jo said they were going to the beach. Jo Jo said it was their 11th month anniversary date.

The twins went to visit a personal trainer. They did some push ups and some medicine ball exercises, that they said they can only do here. You know, my local gym seems to have all of this and costs a lot less.

Sebastian almost got hit by a car on the date with Jo Jo. Jo then had to go to practice. Sebastian didn't like this idea. He said he didn't know how much longer he could do this with her. Jo said this was making it harder for her. Sebastian then dumped her. Talk about a waste of a plane ticket. Not a good call by Sebastian here as now he won't be on television anymore. Granted, Sebastian is no "Vince the World's Most Dangerous Man", referring to Ariane's boyfriend, of course.

Jo Jo then cried for the 2nd cry of the show, and her own personal 2nd cry. Sebsatian said he can't handle this sh*t anymore and left.

Trinity was at practice and was stiffing Jon and looking good. She hit a split legged moonsault. Sara Del Rey made an appearance.  Trin worried over a over the top rope legdrop, but then hit it on Jon.

Trinity was mad at Jon bringing up some personal stuff at work and was worried about being "indecisive".  He brought up the wedding stuff and Trinity said it is difficult now.

Jo Jo said it's either her or wrestling for Sebastian. She doesn't want to quit. Eva didn't want her to quit either. Jo Jo said Sebastian was "the love of my life". She said everything would work out and Eva said this was "selfish as heck".
"That gives me camel toe." - Nikki Bella

Brie and DB were packing. Nikki came in.  There was some outfit that Nikki said "gives me cameltoe". She said "I'll just wear a pad or something". She then started talking about her crotch and how that outfit rides it

DB and Brie were trying to put up and pack some statue. Nikki ripped on how long it was taking them. Brie said it was rude. Nikki then said it was rude that Brie didn't come to the meeting on time. Brie told Nikki to leave and Nikki did. Brie said "I think it's freakin' pathetic that you two are moving for the dog". Nikki then complained about having to do stuff for the website when Brie leaves. It's too bad websites aren't online where they can be accessed anywhere. It's also too bad these girls don't see each other everyday at work. Oh, wait...

Back at the NXT Dojo now. The girls were practicing. Nattie then walked in, making her first appearance for the show.  Jo said it was hard to watch them all train. Sara Del Rey appeared again. Nattie and Jo Jo had a chat. They talked about Sebastian. Nat said "she needs to get it together". Nat said there was a lot at stake and "I was rejected for 5 years". Jo Jo then cried for the 3rd cry of the show. Nat said "you might not make it with Sebastian in this company". Good call, Nat.

Jo Jo then ran outside and they hugged. Nat said "I didn't mean to say that, I'm just being honest with you".Wait, what? That implies she was lying.

Nikki was driving with John Cena. She accused Cena of "looking at my planet". Cena said "my toes are disgusting".  Nikki said "Bryan is only thinking about himself". Cena didn't see the problem and said "do you realize how selfish something like that is". Cena is Dr. Love. Cena said Nikki needs someone to blame. Nikki said that Bryan was "taking her sister away". John said Nikki was having DB be the scapegoat.

Trinity cleans glass in her bare feet

Trinity and Jon then talked on the couch. Trinity screamed and hid under a blanket. Trin didn't want to talk about marriage. Trin said she gives Jon everything she wants and wasn't ready to make decisions right now. They both said they can't do this right now. Trin told Jon to find someone else to give him what he wants. Jon said he needs one step. Trin said this stuff worried her. Jon said don't deal with this then. He packed his suitcase and broke a glass. He banged it right off the wall and said "that job won't be there all the time". Trinity then cleaned up the glass while being barefoot. Trinity cried for the 4th cry of the show. We only need one more for the record.

Brie was packing again and had tons of boxes. Nikki came over to apologize. Nikki said she realized she was being unfair and said "I'm gonna miss my sister". Nikki said John opened her eyes up to things. Brie said this feels good and she needs to be more sensitive.

Supposedly, Bryan said they needed to include Nikki on their plans too. Nikki said "Bryan gets two high fives for that".

As requested, Naomi red dress pictures

The girls were arriving at a show. Trin said "me and boo got into it, bad". Trin said she was cool with commitment but it was too much now. Ariane appeared. She said she had tonsillitis, chills and couldn't eat. Ariane said she had a urinary tract infection and a yeast infection. Ariane said "using the bathroom right now is a whole 'nother challenge". Trin said this was too much information.

Jane's stooge Mark told Trin that she would be working against The Uso's in a tag match. Trin didn't like this idea for some reason, even though we just saw her in the ring with Jon Uso.

Ariane said "I really feel like doo doo", trying to get out of this. Mark said business is business. Trin said she never went up against Jon even though she just did it.

I reviewed The Bella Twins and The Uso's vs Tons of Funk and The Funkadactyl's here:

Trinity said she couldn't focus on the match and this was awkward. One of the Bella's hugged Jon during the match to piss her off. Trinity said Nikki was massaging him and Jon liked it.

Trin and Jon had to work together finally. They had a stare down and Ariane explained that men and women can't fight in a mixed tag match. Jon was mad at Trin for hitting a huricanrana. God, this is so fake.

Trinity said this was the most uncomfortable match of her life.

Jo Jo and Eva hugged the girls in the back. Jo Jo said now she wants to be here because of their match. I wonder if she ever heard of Hiroshi Tanahashi.

Jo Jo then said it's too hard to keep this going due to distance and she would break up with him. Nat said this was funny. Nat said "we need you here, girl". No we don't.

Ariane was chasing Trinity in the back. They talked on the Raw interview set. Trinity said she is afraid of her and Jon failing. She said she had an ex who was with her for 5 years and cheated. Ariane said she needs to take the chance. Trinity said it's her and she's making Jon pay for her ex's mistakes. Trin said she wanted to dropkick Jon in the face.
"Why am I gonna go to cheeseburgers if I'm eating steak every night? You ain't steak, you filet mignon, girl." - Jon Uso
"You are chicken nuggets." - Trinity

Trinity approached Jon in the cafeteria. He said she didn't want to talk and they both apologized. Trinity has really visible marks from her glasses. Jon said "Why am I gonna go to cheeseburgers if I'm eating steak every night? You ain't steak, you filet mignon, girl". Trinity then said, "You are chicken nuggets". Jon then said, "as long as I'm your chicken nuggets"

"Ever since he got hurt, our sex life has gone down the drain." - Nattie on TJ Wilson/Tyson Kidd

Next week - Ariane is getting implants, Nikki has eating problems and is being called fat and Nat walks away from Tyson Kidd.

Overall thoughts: I liked this better than episode 1 but that's like saying I like Great Khali matches more than Dino Bravo matches.  The show still sucks and both of them still suck.


  1. post those noami gifs

  2. where are the naomi gifs? especially the one in the red dress