Monday, May 6, 2013

WWE Monday Night Raw 5/6/2013 Results and Review

WWE Monday Night Raw 5/6/2013 Results and Review

Last week's show is here:

Welcome to my WWE Monday Night Raw Review for May 6th, 2013. I haven't read any spoilers for this but Paul Heyman is promising to do something extreme tonight and that is really about all I know. I'm not expecting a big tonight but I do expect a Cena match and I'd love to see some longer matches like last week.

Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar invaded the WWE offices.

John Cena came out and said he would answer questions. He called Daniel Bryan an ancient chinese philosopher and said Yes and No to various questions. He said his leg is better now. John Cena said Ryback is DTF - Do the Fandango. He also said there was a photoshop of John Cena and Betty White.

He was ready to finish up when Vickie Guerrero came out.

She said there had to be a stipulation to the Extreme Rules match since it is Extreme Rules. She gave Cena the chance to choose and Ryback too.

Cena mocked Ryback and Vickie. He asked about a whining match and a Vickie Guerrero's granny panties on a pole match. He said he didn't care. He also said Ryback's favorite movie was Fried Green Tomatoes.

Ryback said it would be John Cena vs Ryback at Extreme Rules in a Last Man Standing Match. The announcers said it would be to Ryback's advantage because Cena can't stand.

Randy Orton vs Damien Sandow
They said Orton wanted revenge for a Terminus from Sandow last week.

Damien Sandow sung Randy Orton's theme. It went:
Randy has voices inside his head, just watching him puts me to bed, puts me to sleep. Randy walks down here on this ramp, his expression stays the same. Does his pose up in the corner, can't think of anything more lame. All his tattoos are disgusting, all that oil on him is heinous. I guess you get to  sit back and watch me beat this ignoramus.
"You're Welcome." - Damien Sandow

Randy Orton won with an RKO. Just like their SD and NXT matches, this wasn't great and was all squash. This one peaked with Damien Sandow singing Randy Orton's song.

Big Show laid out Orton while he was leaving. They didn't show it when it happened so they had to go to a replay to show it.

They announced Alberto Del Rio vs Dolph Ziggler for tonight.

Fandango vs R-Truth
Fandango was dancing in the back in preparation. As you can see, Mrs. Fandango aka Summer Rae is not with him tonight.
Chris Jericho came out to watch and most likely interfere.

Chris Jericho made fun of Fandango's name calling him Fan-Dodge Durango and Fan-Dingleberry. He said he had some judges for Fandango's match who were Tons of Funk.

R-Truth won by Countout when Fandango walked out. Fadango was mad at R-Truth getting a 10 for his "The Jiggy" dance and left. Fandango controlled this in a quick match before he left.

DB said he wanted to challenge Ryback. Ryback said no and said DB was half the man he was. Kane then came in and asked if he was half the man Ryback was. Ryback said Kane is not the monster he said he is.

They announced Kane vs Ryback for later.

Alberto Del Rio vs Dolph Ziggler

Swagger and Coulter came out mid-match.

Zeb Coulter said he'd slap the taste out of Big E Langston's mouth if he got in his way again.

Zeb said Alberto climbed a ladder at one point in his life, hinting that he came here illegally.

Alberto Del Rio won by DQ when Big E pulled out Alberto. Good match here, which is the third good match they had together. ADR busted out the Ultimo Guerrero Reverse Superplex and he hit a great kick as you can see above. After the match, Swagger came in and beat the crap out of everyone with ladders leaving everyone laying. Dolph Ziggler took a nasty whiplash shot with the ladder.

WWe announced their partnership with Yahoo.

Kaitlyn was talking with the Funkadactyl's, Khali and Natalya about the secret admirer. The admirer sent a text from the Simpsons where Ralph Wiggum sent a card saying, "I Choo Choo Choose You". They agreed to have The Great Khali go undercover to figure out who the mystery lover was. When you have a secret plan, it's best not to reveal on television to millions. They also brought up The Great Khali being a cop in India.

They showed the Bellas after this but I missed it. It would seem they heard this and might be behind it.

Here's the Simpsons Choose You card:

The Shield vs The Uso's and Kofi Kingston

Ambrose got the win with a headlock driver. Good match here with a very hot finish. Kofi took the fall, naturally.

Antonio Cesaro vs Zack Ryder

 Antonio Cesaro won with a Gotch-Style Neutralizer in a squash. The announcers called it a Gotch Neutralizer.

Antonio Cesaro said he puts the W in WWE. He said his competition tonight was a joke. He also said there was no one on Superstars, Saturday Morning Slam or Main Event that could beat him. This is the first time WWE Superstars has been brought up in a long time. I review the show here every week along with Slam and Main Event.

Last week's Superstars is here:

Last week's Saturday Morning Slam is here:

They announced Antonio Cesaro vs Randy Orton for WWE Main Event 5/6/2013. Since I'm shilling away, I'll be reviewing that live here with pics and gifs.

Paul Heyman was doing a satellite interview.

"Brock, put that back. You know you'll never have even a chance at a title as long as Triple H is making decisions here." - Heyman

"I do like the way that looks on you." - Heyman
"Killer Kowalski...who'd he ever train?" - Paul Heyman

"Chief Operating Officer and World Champion, Brock Lesnar." - Paul Heyman

"Now Brock, Triple H might get really mad if you do something like this." - Paul Heyman
"Mr. Lesnar, you have a future as an interior decorator." - Paul Heyman

Brock Lesnar broke the sledgehammer while breaking a desk. That's power.

Paul Heyman talked trash about hurting Triple H in a dirty steel cage match when Triple H came out. Triple H said he has two offices and the ring is his second office. He also ripped Heyman for destroying his office on a Monday when Paul knew Triple H wouldn't be in there. Should have went on a Tuesday since Triple H doesn't work Tuesdays ;)

Triple H said in this office they fight back.

Heyman and Lesnar destroying the office was an all-time great WWE segment. Heyman was absolutely hilarious here and had so many good one-liners. Brock was great too. They also teased Brock Lesnar vs The Rock here as they had Brock Lesnar stare down a Royal Rumble 2013 poster with The Rock on it. By the way, the office wasn't Triple H's real office. I think that was obvious, but I want to point that out. Believe me, Triple H has couches, bath's and giant television screens in his office and no title belts and sledgehammers.

They announced that WWE Total Divas will be on Sundays on E!.

AJ Lee and The Bella Twins vs Kaitlyn and The Funkadactyl's

Kaitlyn won with a spear in a quick and heatless match. Cameron and AJ were basically the only ones besides Kaitlyn in. AJ Lee slapped the smile of Kaitlyn's face in the only highlight. I think King called Cameron "Naomi".

They said Mark Henry was mad and he was out to talk.

Mark talked trash and showed a video until Sheamus came out and did the exact same thing.

Sheamus had yellow stuff near his eye. It's mostly a black eye or bad makeup.
They almost went at it until Wade Barrett came out, since he was going to fight Sheamus.

Wade Barrett vs Sheamus

"Whoop you like you stole somethin', boy." - Mark Henry

Sheamus won with a Brogue Kick. The match wasn't the focus at all here. Sheamus teased attacking Henry and Mark Henry fell out of his chair. Sheamus then Brogue Kicked him. After Sheamus got the win, Henry came in and whooped him with a belt. He then hit a WSS on Sheamus on the ground to leave him.

They announced a dance-off between Chris Jericho and Fandango for next week. If they were going to debut Emma, this would be the perfect time.

Ryback vs Kane

Ryback won with a Shellshock. Decent match here. I liked Kane countering Ryback's meathook clothesline with a kick to the face and the Shellshock was fine. After the match, The Shield came out. as did Daniel Bryan and John Cena. Ryback left with the other two faces fighting The Shield. The faces got the better of The Shield and Ryback came in and laid out Cena with a chair.

Overall thoughts: Pretty good show. There were two decent matches, the Brock Lesnar in the office segment was great and I liked Henry beating up Sheamus. I didn't get bored and the show went pretty quick.

1 comment :

  1. Liked this, got me through a day at work where I couldn't watch Raw.