Friday, May 3, 2013

TNA One Night Only Joker's Wild Results and Review

TNA One Night Only Joker's Wild Results and Review

There will be 6 tag matches and the winning teams advance to a gauntlet battle royale to possibly win $100,000.

James Storm and Christian York vs Gunner and Crimson
Taz said he spends $50,000 on lunch with Ace's. How is that even possible?
James Storm got the win with a superkick on Gunner. The match was okay. The highlight was Storm holding down an opponent while York did a top rope footstomp on their back. York also did a catapult into a Storm DDT. Gunner and Crimson weren't very over though and for a good reason since they haven't been on TV in months.

York said he had a great partner and Storm said he will buy alot of beer with 100K.

Jesse Godderz and Mr. Anderson vs Douglas Williams and Kid Kash
Jesse got hit in the nuts. Taz called it Yambag Yahtzee and said it was One Night Yambag Only.
Anderson picked up the win here. The match was heatless but the story was Jesse being a dick and him not getting along with Anderson. Anderson had enough and mic checked him. It wasn't bad but it was heatless and they had Jesse of all people being the face in peril which didn't work. Kid Kash was the best thing in this match.

Roode got interviewed and just said he was in it for the money and didn't have a strategy.
Gunner and Crimson said they were sick of being at home and wanted to prove what they could do.

Christopher Daniels and  Samoa Joe vs Chavo Guerrero Jr and Rob Van Dam
They gave the Joe/Daniels team away in the intro as they showed them talking

Samoa Joe beat RVD with the Muscle Buster. The match was mostly good but did have some boring rest spots. Both teams were decent. There weren't many highlights though. No one wanted to go all out for this and honestly, except for RVD, this wasn't much different than a house show match.

Jessie said he spent the $100K on a party already. Anderson said he'd eliminate everyone and then jump over the top for the easy Jessie win. Then he laughed with Jessie and said it wouldn't happen when he left.

Robbie E and  Zema Ion vs Joseph Park and Robert Roode
Joseph Park said their name should be Law and Order. Roode called Park "Tons of Fun" and told him to shut his mouth.
Taz said Park's butt smelled like "wet mayonaise in Arizona in the summer".
Roode got the win after a black hole slam. Good match here. It was mostly comedy with everyone picking on Park until he snapped and helped his team pick up the easy win.

Daniels was excited about the win and said if him and Joe can win the gauntlet, they will go get shabu-shabu. Joe told him he was on his own.
Devon said if he wins tonight, he will get Val a job where he makes it rain.

Hernandez and Alex Silva vs  DOC and Devon
Taz had no idea who Silva was, despite calling a match of his last month.
Taz kept talking about getting a sidecar with the win tonight.
Taz accidently blew his cover about this one being rigged. He said the goal was to not have Hernandez tagged in. I dunno. If I'm rigging a match, Hernandez would not be my choice opponent.
Ace's won with a chokeslam in an uninteresting match. I dunno. Not enough Hernandez and too much of everyone else. It just didn't click. Hernandez did hit an awesome tope though.

Joey Ryan talked about percentages ala Scott Steiner. He said he had a 92% chance of nailing Val. Morgan said his size would help him win.

Joseph Park said it's okay to lose as a lawyer since he gets paid so much but the wins matter most here. Daniels came in. He talked about "Bob Van Dam" and "Chavo Guerrero the 3rd". He proposed an alliance between the two and a retainer of 30% if they win. Park said he liked the idea of not helping Daniels instead. Daniels also said Joe was mad at him and Park originally asked if this was about a 17 year old girl Daniels was with. Park said if he wins, he donates the money to the Inner City Chicago Youth Club.

Rob Terry and Matt Morgan vs Joey Ryan and Al Snow
"His gut looks like it needs to be checked." - Taz | "If it wasn't for me, he'd still be looking for McDonalds in Tokyo in 1994." - Taz | "You could have taken him to Ribera's." - Tenay
Ribera's is a famous steakhouse in Japan where all the wrestlers go. They have the best steaks in the world and their walls are stacked with wrestler pictures.

Matt Morgan pinned Joey Ryan with a Brogue Kick. This was absolute crap and almost put me to sleep. They had the big guys doing chin locks for about 5 minutes straight. Ryan wouldn't give Al a tag and Al had the idea of putting Ryan and Morgan in the ring against each other. They resisted but finally they went at it and Morgan won quick. This sucked and I really have to question the idea of putting Morgan and Terry together.

Park was happy to team with Roode and asked what the heck the gauntlet was anyway. He then talked about donating money for the second time.

Al talked about being happy to stick it up Ryan's and Morgan's butt. I dunno, putting Morgan in a situation where he can get $100,000 isn't what I'd call sticking it to someone.

$100,000 Over the Top Rope Gauntlet Battle Royale
Storm and Roode were the first entrants.
Devon was 3rd.
Doc came in 4th and Taz said he was as happy as "a pig in poop". Taz said Ace's would have a 3 week 4th of July part with midgets with mohawks and cats and dogs. Doc got eliminated.
Jessie came out 5th.
Joseph Park came out 6th.
Mr. Anderson came out 7th and helped eliminate Jessie, with Park throwing him over.

Samoa Joe came in 8th.
Rob Terry came in 9th and eliminated York then Daniels.
Terry took out Anderson and Morgan came in 10th. Morgan took out Park and then Joe.
Morgan then eliminated Rob Terry and Storm eliminated Morgan.
Storm then took out Devon and Roode to win it.
I thought the match was pretty boring. Unless it's a good Rumble or a Dragon Scramble, it's usually not good. I didn't like Morgan and Terry taking out so many people either.

Storm got the mic and said the beer is on him and sorry about everyone else's damn luck.

They pimped TNA One Night Only Hardcore Justice 2 to end the show.

Overall thoughts: Not a good one here. There was little heat and the wrestling was not very good. They tried to tie in some storylines but they were mostly storylines that had ended already or weren't focused upon. 3 hours was too long for this and all of the matches could have used less time. No one even really performed that well or put out a great effort. This show was really skipable and pretty boring.

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