Thursday, May 23, 2013

TNA Impact Wrestling 5/23/2013 Results and Review

TNA Impact Wrestling 5/23/2013 Results and Review

Last week's show is here:

Hulk Hogan came out and shilled his restaurant. He said Shark Boy swam to it and drank with him.

He was convinced AJ joined Ace's and then brought out Sting.

Hogan offered to get rid of the no title shot stipulation if Sting loses and Sting said no. He said he doesn't deserve to be champ if he can't beat Bully.

Brooke blamed herself for the Bully/Hogan/Sting rift.
Brooke says she wants to resign because of all of this and Hulk said no.

Bully said all of this was his fault.

Bully told Hulk to get his hands off his wife and blamed Brooke for making Bully fall for her. He said he thinks of Brooke all the time. Bully said he still loves her and won't take the wedding ring off.

Suicide vs Joey Ryan vs Petey Williams

Suicide got the win here. I thought it might have been Magno as the guy playing Suicide was definitely a luchador. The match was okay and was all action from start to finish. It was really quick but forgettable.

Chris Sabin offered to be James Storm's partner in the back.

Brooke asked Bully what the love you thing meant and he said he still loved her. Brooke heel turn coming soon.
Mickie James asked Velvet if she could wrestle tonight and told her she loved her multiple times. Velvet said she could.

Wes Brisco said he beat up Alex Silva, who was supposed to be Shaw's opponent and said he wanted to be in Gut Check. He said he would show Shaw how ugly he was.

Shaw took a beating until Magnus came out and cleared them off. Magnus said Shaw was his friend and this is now personal. Magnus said Brisco didn't deserve to be in the series. He then challenged him.

Wes Brisco vs Magnus

TNA said they are selling a workout app with Jeff Hardy. Yeah, I really want to look like Jeff Hardy. I'm legit surprised TNA didnn't have Samoa Joe doing the workout app.

Magnus won after Ace's interfered and Wes got DQ'd. The match wasn't very interesting at all and had tons of chinlocks. Samoa Joe cleared out Ace's after.

Bully Ray said Wes did a good job and gave him credit. Yep, he lost. D'Lo lost and he has to clean bikes. Wes loses and they toast him.

Kurt was at a amaetur wrestling event to save wrestling.

Mr. Anderson vs Kurt Angle

AJ arrived mid-match

Mr. Anderson won with a low blow and a roll-up, after AJ Styles appeared. This wasn't very good. It got better when Angle threw around Anderson but up to that point, it was slow and pretty lame. Tazz hugged AJ and AJ patted his back.

Up to this point, this show really sucks.

Gail Kim was talking smack about a title shot until Taryn Terrell bum rushed her and threw her into a door, a wall and a table. It was by far the best thing on this show so far and Gail took a thrashing in this.

James Storm came out to announce who his partner would be.

Aries and Roode interrupted. Roode said his team with Storm was the worst part of his life.
B.I. came out. They called the other teams the dumps, the lumps and the humps. They said Chavo and Hernandez were just lucky. Kaz threw his gum out to the crowd and called "Jim" Storm a "dumb dummy" for turning down the membership into B.I. He said Storm could pick Luke Duke or Waylon Jennings to be his partner. I don't know who Luke Duke is, but that is an interesting name. Yes I know, google it.

Shark Boy was brought out as Storm's partner. He said they both liked beer and fishing and asked for the crowd to give them a "shell yeah" on their team. About time Shark Boy returned. We now need a Curry Man return.
Robbie E said he wanted to be Storm's partner He said they could be called Beer Bro, America's Most Bro, Jim Tan Beer Bro, Two Bro's and a Baby all we need is another Bro Bro, Hairspray and Drink all day.

Gunner came out, beat up Sharky and Robbie and Storm picked him. Ugh. I would have picked Shark Boy.

Park heard he was getting the strap and said he was worried it might hurt. They announced Team 3D vs Sting and ? for next week. Sting said he wants Abyss. Sting said don't "kayfab" him and chose Park since he is close to Abyss.

Knockouts Title - Velvet Sky vs Mickie James

Mickie James won wit ha DDT after clipping Sky's knee. The story here was Mickie getting vicious and attacking her friend's knee to win the title. The match wasn't that great and I think Mickie turned heel here.
Bully checked with D'Lo to make sure the beers were cold and the bikes were washed. How are the Ace's members not 400lbs after all the beer they drink? Or at minimum constantly drunk? They celebrated that AJ would join them.

Bully said no one in Ace's is better than another. So why is D'Lo cleaning bikes and why is Bully the president? Bully said D'Lo is a disappointment, but somehow this makes him equal. He put over Anderson for winning tonight.

Bully said, "You can give your heart to Jesus, but your soul belongs to the club". He made AJ drink beer.

Angle came out and asked Aj if this is what he wanted. AJ put on the jacket and Kurt got jumped in ring. AJ hit Kurt with a hammer and posed with Ace's. Ace's turned around and AJ hit them with hammer's and left, with the announcers saying he is on his own team to end the show.

Overall thoughts: I thought the show sucked. No good wrestling and nothing really caught my interest except Shark Boy and Taryn whooping Gail. Not a good one here.

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