Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Global Wrestling Federation Vol. 87 Review

Global Wrestling Federation Vol. 87 Review

This is from 1993.

"They call me up and say, you know brothers we brothers now. We from the ghettos and stuff."
"I don't know where my brother is but tonight, Baboose, you gon' pay dearly. So help me God, you gon' pay dearly. You punk." - Action Jackson
Vito Mussolini (w/Sweet Daddy Falcone and Jackie Goldman) vs. Chad Starr
"This Mussolini is one heck of a wrestler right here. You better watch this guy." - Black Bart
"You better sit down you fat cow. You better watch what's going on in the ring." - Black Bart to a fan
"Akbar is true to these fans. He never died like any of those Von Erich's or something like that and he's true blue to every stinkin' one of them." - Black Bart on Skandor Akbar
The crowd is pumped for this.
GWF manager Jackie Goldman
Vito Mussolini beat Chad Starr with a superplex. There was a match going on here, but the focus surely wasn't on it. It was all squash anyway and not that impressive.

Chaz vs. Too Sweet Jones
He's just too sweeeeeeeet.!
"Get in the ring and whoop that butt. This is called professional stinkin' wrestling." - Black Bart to Too Sweet Jones
"I'm gonna whoop him so bad he's gonna grow hair." - Black Bart on his match with Angel of Death next week
The pin
Chaz pinned Too Sweet Jones to win. Not a good one here. It went way too long for either of these guys and they seemed to get lost a few times. They both looked pretty clumsy and Black Bart wasn't helping things on commentary.

Please tell me that someone booked Chris Adams vs Black Adams.
GWF Blast from the Past - Steve Simpson and Shaun Simpson vs. The Colossal Kongs (Awesome Kong and King Kong, w/Freddie Fargo) (Taped: 4/2/93, Mark Lowrance on commentary!)
Shaun Simpson is late so Steve decided to take on the Kongs himself.
Referee David Manning gets squashed
Manager Freddie Fargo decks his own man
Shaun Simpson arrives

Shawn Simpson won this one by pinning Freddie Fargo, who wasn't even in the match. I think that should just about tell you just about all you need to know about this 3 minute match. Stupid match.

Billy Joe Travis vs. Terrance Garvin (Taped: 6/29/1992)
"Terrance Garvin says he's from the city of pretty." - Craig Johnson
"You'll have to ask him where that is exactly." - Joe Pedicino

Billy Joe Travis won this one with a roll-up. Not much to this one at all. Most of the match had Garvin begging off and fooling around. He hit two "Sleeping Beauty" bulldogs(just normal bulldogs) before taking the loss. The crowd liked it but it was a waste.

GWF North American Heavyweight Title - Stevie Ray vs Johnny Mantell
Yep, that's Stevie Ray of Harlem Heat. John Hawk aka JBL was announcing for some of this but it didn't sound like him at all. They didn't show him on the screen.
Stevie Ray backdrops Mantell on a saddle bag
Stevie Ray beat Johnny Mantell after a backdrop on a saddle bag. I am not a cowboy and the closest thing we have to a horse around here is one you put quarters in, but I'm pretty sure being backdropped on a piece of leather is not that painful. Johnny Mantell was still not good after about 7 or 8 years and Stevie Ray wasn't good 7 or 8 years after this either, so you can imagine what this was like. A big stinker with little action.

Handicap Match - Booker T and Action Jackson vs. Baboose and the Colossal Kongs (Awesome Kong and King Kong) Baboose is some kind of witch doctor manager.

"I just discovered something Jackie Goldman. Awesome Kong has a tattoo on his left arm while King Kong does not." - Doyle King, who can't keep track of the Kong's either.
Booker T looking quite slim here, sucka.
Check out that hair
The announcers said that Skandor Akbar injured Stevie Ray, so he's not here.
Did he borrow that outfit from his grandmother? That's totally gangsta.
"One of the fans with a Black Akbar type dressed doll." - Doyle King
Booker T does a cartwheel splash!
Stevie Ray finally enters
The bell rang but no result was announced. Don't ask me who won this one. The Kong's and Baboose left as Stevie entered and that was really it. This was a very boring match and I'm glad it's over with. It was rough trying to stay awake through this and it was a giant waste of time.

Overall thoughts: This show really sucked. There were 3 stupid finishes here and it was punishment to get through.

No comments :

Post a Comment